Crashed
by sue2008
Summary: How long will it take to the BAU team to realize JJ is hiding something? And how many women will be hurt before the UnSub is finally caught? And what these two things have in common? JJ/Hotch somewhere along the way. NOW COMPLETE
1. Everyone hates Mondays

**Crashed**

**Disclaimer: Criminal minds nor it's characters don't belong to me.**

**A/N My first Criminal minds fiction. Mostly about my favorite character, JJ, but there should be also some JJ/Hotch. I'm working on this story for some time now, but it's still not finished. I hope posting it will force me to finish it soon.**

**Hope you'll enjoy it.**

The morning couldn't be worse. JJ was late and it was something she had never been before. With her hair down and dressed less sharply then usual she got off her car exactly half an hour later then she should have. She forgot to smile at the security guy downstairs and he looked worriedly after her.

She waited impatiently for the elevator and the elevator ride was unusually nervous for her. She knew there would be questions. And not only about her late arrival.

For the first time since she was in the FBI JJ hoped the team would be already off at the case, hopefully somewhere very far and she would have the office just for herself. Only for few days...

The luck wasn't on her side. She wasn't even half way to her office when Morgan passed her at the corridor.

"Morning, JJ" he smiled not really looking at her because of the file he was reading "I guess you slept well" he teased as he noticed she had just arrived to work. He always treated rules with less respect then JJ and because they had no active case at the moment, it was no crime in his book to be half an hour late on Monday. Everyone hates Mondays after all.

"Hi, Morgan" JJ tried to act naturally. She had no idea how she had failed. If she had just stay silent, Morgan wouldn't even bother to look up, but the tone of her voice made him to forgot about file in his hand.

As Derek lifted his eyes, he took one sharp breath in.

"What the hell" was his immediate reaction "JJ" his voice became softer "what happened to you?" now he was all concern, the file completely forgotten.

JJ very unwillingly turned to him and faked smile. It hurt, because of the injuries on her face.

"It's nothing, Derek, really..." and she tried to walk away. Morgan instinctively grabbed her hand to stop her. She couldn't stop the yelp as he held her injured hand. He let go and finally had the time to see what had exactly happened to her.

Most of JJ's head was conveniently covered with her hair, so he was able only to see her black eye and part of the cut on her cheek. Her neck was covered with turtle neck even in this summer day and she didn't wear her usual skirt, she had pants and shoes with no heels. Morgan only then noticed she was holding weight of her body unnaturally on her left leg.

"It doesn't seem like nothing, JJ..." he wondered what else her clothing was hiding.

"It's stupid, really" she smiled for an excuse "I was in the car crash on Saturday, some teenager bumped my car, it wasn't even that strong, but the airbag went off and caused this" she pointed to her face.

"Are you sure you are OK, shouldn't you be in hospital" Morgan was in full knight-in-the-shining-armor-mode.

"I have spent there half of Sunday, believe me, I have enough of hospitals"

"Then go home" he tried to convince her.

"Yeah, Hotch would definitely love that" JJ's joke met with success as Morgan finally smiled as well. Before he could react in any way voice from behind them interrupted their conversation.

"What would I love?" Aaron Hotchner just came back from meeting when he noticed his coworkers chatting on the corridor. He was surprised by the sudden pinch of jealousy, but there was something more. JJ's figure screamed to the world that she was uncomfortable, that something wrong had happened to her. He tried to convince himself, that he was checking on her only because it was his duty to take care of everyone on the team.

"Nothing, we are just joking around" JJ tried to lie her way out.

"What is it, JJ?" Hotch asked. She didn't need to answer she just turned to him.

Hotch played it surprisingly cool. JJ expected him at least to seem a bit shocked but he kept his face completely straight. JJ made a note to not ever play poker with him.

"JJ, shouldn't you be in hospital?" as she heard Hotch's question she had just enough.

"Go to hell, both of you" she yelled "You are worse then my mother. I'm grown up woman. Do you really think I would be here if I wasn't fit 100%?" with that she left, it wasn't the epic storm out she hoped for, the limping made it impossible, but at least the two men stayed behind. They exchanged worried look as they were both sure that JJ would come to work even if she should die the next day.

Morgan made a few steps as he wanted to go after her, but Hotch stopped him, with eyes still fixed on the corner where she disappeared.

"Let her cool down, I'll go talk to her later" he order "and Morgan..."

"I know...I'll keep it to myself" Morgan said and he also left Hotch behind. The Unit Chief considered his opportunities. He knew he should go talk to her, demand explanation and probably sent her home on sick leave, but he decided to give her time to get it together. Instead, he decided to visit Garcia in her cave.

"Garcia" he entered the office after short knock. Penelope turned to him surprised.

"Sir? What are you doing here..." she turned red as he gave her severe look "I mean, you usually call" and she clicked few times on her keyboard to hide the Internet pages she was browsing. The Boss-man didn't need to know what she was planning on weekend. Then Garcia finally took control of herself.

"How can I help you, Sir?" she was finally the cheerful self again.

Hotch closed the door.

"It's kind of social call" he ignored Garcia's stunned look "Did you speak with JJ this weekend?"

However surprised Garcia might be by this question she answered straight

"No, sir, I was in...ehm...out of town, sir" she blushed "Is JJ OK?" she tried to change subject.

"I'm not so sure" Hotch took the bait "Could you go check on her?" he felt guilty about switching the duty to someone else, but he was sure JJ would be more comfortable talking to Garcia then to himself.

"You mean like now?"

"Yes" Hotch assured "she's in her office right now" without any further delay he left.

**So, this is the start, it should get better...**

**Next: The injuries have some consequences.**


	2. Being hurt

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N WOW, I haven't been expected so much feedback, I was so shocked in the morning. As a reward, new chapter for you.**

However weird Hotch's order might sound, Penelope followed it without hesitation. She loved JJ and she knew it was something big, otherwise Hotch wouldn't bother to ask her.

Garcia was surprised to find JJ's door closed, it used to be open most of the time. She knocked and waited.

"Come in" sounded quiet voice after a while. Penelope entered curiously.

JJ was seated at her table, using it as some kind of barricade saving her from the world. The stacks of files were even bigger then usually and the one file JJ was actually reading, she held high to cover most of the face.

"Morning, sweetheart" Garcia was all fluffy on the outside while in real her thoughts were going in full speed. What the hell had happened to her friend and why she was trying so hard to keep her face straight?

"Hello, Penelope, how was your weekend?" JJ knew Garcia had big plans for her and Kevin and she hoped she could be impatient to spill it all up.

"Cut the crap, what happened to you?" Penelope could be really quiet scary, if she had chosen to. And right now she didn't take the bait.

"Pen, not you too, please" JJ was exhausted, putting the happy face all around, she just needed friend.

"Oh, Jayje..." and Pen went to hug her friend, JJ would have gladly give in to the hug, if the pain wouldn't take over her body. She yelped unwillingly and pulled back.

"Sorry" she whispered "it's some bruising from the safety-belt".

Luckily the awkward moment was interrupted by Hotch. He knocked but entered without invitation.

"I have just got off the phone, The Boston PD have issued the Amber alert. Our assistance is required. The details are being sent to your computer as we speak. Meeting in ten." He blurted out without single breath and left the room again immediately.

Garcia needed no more clues. She left immediately as well and went to her cave, she knew what she was required to look for. Missing kids always deserved special attention.

All JJ managed to do in ten minutes was to print out photos and read few basic information. Exactly on time she was ready in the briefing room. She did her best to ignore curious looks from coworkers that hadn't met her earlier.

"Mike Granger, five, abducted from the mall exactly 45 minutes ago. The local PD has his photos circulating between possible witnesses, the mall is shut. They are waiting for our consult."

Hotch stood up "We will read up on the details on the flight, wheels up in twenty" his orders were usually short and all team was halfway out of the room when he turned to JJ.

"Make a call to a PR office, get someone to cover for you" he ordered.

JJ reacted immediately "Doctors have cleared me for work" she argued.

"They might, but you are in no shape to be put in front of cameras. It's child abduction and people need assurances" when she still hesitated, Hotch pushed it further "Are you going to make a call or should I?"

JJ knew when she lost and got her cell out. She decided not to argue, she could be very well put on sick leave and she preferred to be able to come to work, get through the files on her table.

In exactly 11 minutes JJ knocked on Hotch's office door.

"Hotch, this is Martha Stevens" she pointed to the woman in her fifties that came with her. She was smaller that JJ and was starting to gain some weight but was dressed smartly and looked actually very sharp. Martha shook hands with Hotch.

"Martha is kind of legend with dealing with media, she taught me pretty much everything I know. She is retiring this month and her replacement is already fully trained. Martha is looking forward to her last big case" JJ explained. Martha smiled friendly, but Hotch noticed her eyes that were piercing him as she was trying to figure him out.

"I couldn't put it better" the sentiment towards JJ was honest "I still have my ready bag so I can leave immediately with you" she promised and checked her watch. "Five minutes it is?" she checked to be sure.

"Exactly" Hotch confirmed. He was glad that JJ didn't produce any young trainee. He wanted to thanks her for that when he realized she was gone. As he reached for his bag and locked the office he noticed her office door were shut tight.

JJ left Hotch's office unnoticed. She knew his call was right, but she couldn't help feeling hurt. She made sure to close the office door behind her, she didn't need anyone to see her tears, even by accident.

.oOo.

The day was slow for JJ. She barely left the office and in the evening she realized she made noticeable progress with her files. At least it made the dark mood go away. She didn't dare to call anyone from the team to check how the case was going, but she knew exactly which channel to turn on.

Martha was doing great work. With Amber alert issued the media coverage was huge, but she still managed to keep her distance. JJ watched her with admiration so it took her while till she realized what Martha was trying to communicate to the public. Mike Granger's body had been found eight hours after abduction. The team caught the UnSub, but they were too late.

JJ turned the TV off immediately and left the office. She needed to get home to her kid.

.oOo.

Hotch was the last one to leave the plane. It was almost midnight when he drove off the airstrip. The day couldn't have gone worse. Only after they had arrived to the Boston he realized how big mistake he had made, leaving JJ behind. Martha was a professional and did her work more then well, but without JJ something was missing. She was the most human person on the team and she was the one to make a connection with the family. But it wasn't the only thing missing today. It was her, her smile, her optimism, her empathy.

Hotch was lost in his thoughts, not only about JJ and how he had screw up, but about the case as well. Loosing human life was always difficult, but it was almost unbearable when it came to kids.

It was after midnight when he stopped the car. It took him few seconds to realize where he was. It was completely different part of town, he was in front JJ's house.

He knew he should have drive off, but only one look convinced him, that the lights were still on in the living room. He imagined JJ and Will all cozy together and suddenly felt the urge to interrupt them. He was surprised by the intensity of the feeling and almost curiously gave up to it.

**Next: Unexpected visitor**


	3. Not here

**Disclaimer: The usual**

JJ was curled on the couch finishing up the box of ice cream. She couldn't sleep. Her bruises hurt like hell but her memories were worse. She wished she could talk to someone, but she knew it was impossible. She wished she could sleep, but lying alone in the dark bedroom was unbearable. So she did the only thing she could think about: she ate.

The knock on the door surprised her so much she dropped the spoon. With the guilty look on almost empty box she picked the spoon up and taking off safety on her gun she went to answer the door.

It was hard to say who was more surprised. JJ, wearing only old over-sized pyjama with smudge from ice cream on it, staring at her boss at her door in the middle of the night or Hotch looking at the gun pointed at him by the most amazing creature he had seen in long time. JJ was the first one to come back to her senses.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she put away her gun.

Hotch hesitated, he didn't know what to say. He just looked at her till she realized her hairs were pinned up so all her scars and bruises were visible. JJ blushed unwillingly and with gesture invited Hotch in. She knew the look on his face. She didn't need to know the result of the investigation earlier and she could tell that it all went wrong. She felt sorry for him, with her most basic female instinct she wished she could take his worries away.

"It was really that wrong?" she asked compassionately. Hotch didn't need to answer, simple nod confirmed what was obvious on his whole posture.

"I'm so sorry..." JJ whispered and the sadness in her eyes made Hotch finally catch up with reality.

"No, I'm sorry. I've barged in in the middle of the night. I wanted to check on you and instead I have spread my terrible mood" he looked at her apologetically "I'd rather go"

"No" JJ reacted quickly, too quickly. She blushed "I mean, c'mon in, do you want a coffee or something else to drink?" she made a step aside so he could come in. When she closed the doors behind him, she scratched nervously her right shoulder, or it seemed so. In fact she needed to check if it was safely covered.

Hotch felt like an intruder. He expected Will to show up every second and ask him what he was doing there, but JJ showed no discomfort as she handed him glass of water and seated herself carefully at the chair. He watched her as she minded her injuries.

"You really should take some time off" he offered again.

"I've told you already, I'm fine...not fine for the camera, but I'm able to work" she still couldn't help feeling little hurt.

"I'm sorry about today morning" he got it out of his chest "I needed to come and see if you are still angry with me"

JJ played nervously with bandage on her hand "I have not been angry, you made the right call. It just..." she didn't know how to put her feelings in words "Just hurt when I saw you guys leaving without me"

"I'm sorry about that, I hope there won't be any more cases till you are completely fine" he said absolutely honestly.

"If there won't be any sudden cases, we are in clear. I've managed to get through all files on my table. I have got piles of consults request for everyone, but nothing demanding whole team's attention" JJ informed.

"Piles?" Hotch asked and JJ could swear he smiled a little bit "Remind me to never let you alone at the office again"

"Gladly" she agreed.

"I should go" he suddenly stand up "It's late"

"I know" JJ never moved, she just stared at him curiously. She noticed it was making him nervous.

"I hope I didn't wake your guys" he tried to divert her attention from himself. He succeeded, but not in the way he supposed to. She started to act nervously.

"Henry is a good sleeper" she put on the smile she put always when she spoke about her son "And Will... he is not here" she added almost in whisper.

"Well, then. I'll be going" he opened the doors "I'm just glad we cleared this all up"

"It could have waited till the morning, you know..." she still hadn't figure out what it was all about.

"I know, but I'll sleep better now" he gave her one of his rare smiles.

And then he made the most unpredictable move. He bended down slightly and kissed her lightly on the bruised cheek. Before she could do anything, or even breathe again, he wished her goodnight and left.

.oOo.

The next day JJ arrived to office before anyone else. She had the files moved to the tables of the profilers and was looking forward to getting new one. She was sipping her coffee when Hotch arrived. She took the last stack of files from her table and went to his office.

"Morning" she said as he invited her to his office.

"Hi, JJ" he checked her figure with one fast look. She seemed relaxed, even her bruises were starting to fade. Well, then he was probably the only one that couldn't get good night sleep. He just hoped it wasn't too obvioius what had kept him awake. And then he noticed the files in her hands.

"I guess you weren't kidding" he observed as he remembered the last night conversation.

"Do I ever?" she teased and put the files on his table and tried to leave.

"JJ" he called after her "Do you want to go get a lunch together?" He didn't know where this came from. She was engaged after all, but there was something about her that made him feel that the invitation might not be completely inappropriate.

"I'm not sure if I get to lunch today at all" she tried to avoid saying 'no'. JJ realized too well what was going on after his midnight visit and she knew that it wasn't the good time for that.

"You need to eat" he wasn't giving up without fight.

"Then I'll just probably eat sandwich in my office" JJ was begging him with eyes to just drop it.

"Fine by me, I'll get sandwiches and drop by your office at, say, 1 is good?"

"Hotch, I just don't think this is good idea" she finished the stupid game and left.

As she walked away from Hotch's office she could see the curious looks from her coworkers. She smiled at them.

"I knew we should have sent you at sick leave" Morgan teased as he pointed at the files at his desk.

"Sorry, I couldn't left you guys have all the fun and sit alone at home" she answered innocently, but only too late she realized yesterday's case wasn't fun at all. But the team didn't mind, they needed some normality back to forget as fast as possible and there was nothing more normal then teasing a coworker.

"Maybe we could ask some teenager to drive with more speed, then she would go on sick leave" Emily proposed.

"It might not be necessary, statistically..." Reid tried to added his comment. Unless his coworkers he worked without second guessing and was already half way through with his case load.

"OH, shut up" Emily stopped him, she just opened her first case file "or I'll share with you some of my files, if you don't have anything else to do" she threatened.

When JJ listened to her coworker's banter she had just enough time to compose herself. She smiled at them.

"Before you go and bribe some innocent kid to cripple me, you should realize I can work from hospital bed and I'll bring you your consults on my wheelchair if I have to"

Before the laughter fade away JJ decided it was the best time to leave the scene.

**Next: conversation over the lunch**


	4. The Bets

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...well only wild imagination.**

It was 12:45 and JJ was getting ready to get lost from her office. She hoped she could sneak out without Hotch noticing. But she was proven wrong. When she opened doors of her office she almost bumped to her boss. He was holding big box of takeout.

"I thought you might be already hungry" he said sweetly and very wisely didn't comment on her runaway attempt. JJ managed to put smile on her face although her hunger was gone.

"Come in, then" she made step back and let him inside her office. She then sat on her chair, but it didn't take a profiler to notice she was uncomfortable.

"JJ, if you really don't want me here, I'll go" he offered "but I don't think even Will would have any problem with you having lunch with your boss"

"Will's gone" she spat out unexpectedly. It surprised even herself. It was supposed to be secret.

"He's what?"

"He met some blond bimbo barely-over-teen-age that craves nothing more then be his housewife" the look of disgust appeared on her face "But now you see why I'm not comfortable with you being so..." she was looking for some word and finally satisfied herself with "friendly".

Hotch was taken by surprise. He had no idea that something had been wrong between JJ and her now ex fiancée, not to mention they had broken up completely. After the first shock he had to fight the sudden urge to smile. He took control of himself within seconds and finally said

"How are you holding up, are you OK?" he leaned over her table and tried to hold her hand. She pulled he hand away.

"I'm not some emo-teen to go and cut my wrist, don't worry. I can handle break-up, especially when he was wise enough to grant me sole custody over Henry. It looks like his bimbo doesn't like my kid." JJ smiled contently, but continued without even taking a breath "What I can't handle right now is my boss behaving in a weird way. I don't have anything left to figure it out, so please, just keep your distance" she blurted out before she could cowardly keep it inside.

Hotch knew better then deny anything. She had him figure out quite well, even if she said otherwise. He decided to left it uncommented and offer the peace.

"Right, but it doesn't mean we can't eat together, can we?" he put in front of her box of her favorite take out and moved back to gave her enough space.

"I think I can handle lunch" she smiled relaxed. Every once in a while it was good to work with profilers.

.oOo.

Time passed quickly and almost peacefully. JJ's scars faded with time. It was almost two months since her accident. She was so busy with her work and Henry she didn't even had the time to realize Hotch was finding her more and more amazing. He tiptoed around her, made sure she didn't need anything. He spent most of his free time inviting schemes to spent time with her and the boys. He was so focused on not scaring her away he never noticed when Morgan started the pool in the office about them two getting together.

"I'll bet you 5 dollars JJ and Hotch are going to make it official in less then two weeks" he whispered once to Emily when he got tired of paperworks one afternoon. Prentiss first jumped surprised, he came from behind and she never saw him.

"No way, with the scars they both have it will take them at least another half a year." she opposed.

"You're on, girl" he dared "but I doubt you have seen Hotch recently. He has tiny hearts where his pupils used to be" he exaggerated.

"He might, but JJ is too much by the book to start dating her boss" Emily shared her observation.

"Don't the two of you have anything better to do?" they were taken by surprise by Rossi. He had just gotten fresh cup of coffee.

"Oh, man, you've scared me" Morgan admitted.

"It means you don't have a clean conscience" Rossi offered explanation willingly. He could swear Emily blushed a little. "Anyway, two weeks is too early, but if I had to watch them act like two morons for another month I would be forced to...interfere" he smiled knowingly.

"One month it is" and Morgan made a move like he was writing Rossi's bet down.

"One month to what?" Reid came in closer curious about the small whispering group.

"Till JJ and Hotch make it official" Emily explained.

"Make what official?" Reid asked sincerely surprised.

"One day, you and I, kid, are going to have long conversation" Rossi was still amazed by this boy naivety "we are talking about JJ and Hotch being in love"

"You think those two are in love?" he didn't need to pretend surprise, it was honest "It's common mistake, you see what you want to see. It's almost the rule when the couples of mixed sex work together. Those two also had in common the kids what made them even more alike in private life, but despise all the love-stories it rather quite rare for real relationship to start it the workplace. It was also proven that..."

"OK, Reid, we get it. You're not going to bet with us" Morgan stopped Reid's lecture before it really started.

**OK, I know this chapter wasn't as interesting as it should be, but I've figured I needed some fillers before I go and write the important stuff, so just you wait;)**

**Next: The beginning of troubles in paradise**


	5. Naked

**Disclaimer: The usual**

**A/N Sorry for the delay... **

No one from the team should have ever known how close was Morgan to winning the main price. It was exactly thirteen days from the bets when the team came back from exhausting case. They had caught the guy in the end, but it was one of the cases that stay with you. No one really protested when Emily proposed drinks. No one wanted to be alone, so they gladly accepted.

It was almost midnight when JJ was getting ready to leave.

"I have to go" she excused herself "I have to pick up Henry from my cousin in the morning"

"Just one more drink, sweetie" Garcia had gladly accepted the invitation as well and now was entertaining her colleagues.

"Sorry, Pen, I'm leaving. G'night everyone, see you tomorrow" JJ used the element of surprise and walked out uncommonly fast. She was searching for the cab when a voice from behind her caught her off the guard.

"I'll give you a ride" Hotch came out of nowhere and scared JJ. She yelped involuntary. Angry at him for the shock he caused her she declined.

"Don't EVER do it again" she reprimanded first "and I'm fine" she answered, rather rudely, she wasn't able to manage basic politeness. Although she knew Hotch was completely safe, she couldn't take control over her insecurity. She had bad feeling about it all and wanted the night to end as fast as possible.

"I'm sorry" she whispered an excuse after noticing Hotch's surprised face "I'm just exhausted. I need to get home. You go back in and have some more drink"

Hotch was surprised by JJ unnatural behavior. He was concerned a bit.

"I think all I need is shower and bed. C'mon, I can drop you on my way home"

JJ didn't have any more real excuses.

"OK" she finally agreed and quickly hid herself in the relative safety of the passenger seat before Hotch could do something stupid like opening door for her.

The ride was short and uncomfortable. They were both painfully aware of what might happen it they had just give in to the moment, but the paths their thoughts were going couldn't be more different. All JJ wanted was for the ride to be over. She craved the privacy of her home. With Hotch being so nice she was starting to be exhausted with keeping her distance, but her rational self made her fought even harder after such thoughts.

On the other hand Hotch's mind was set on one target: to convince the blonde next to him to give them two a chance. He had been patient, he waited and tiptoed around her, but he realized that rather sooner than later he would have to just take a chance.

The moment the car stopped in front of JJ's building she undid her seatbelt and with quick 'goodnight' got out of the car. At first Hotch thought about letting her go, but then he changed his mind. He got out of the car even faster then she did and called after her. Before she could turn back and answer he was right behind her.

When she turned back she was surprised by his closeness. He stood so close she could feel his breath on her face. She, on the other hand, was holding her breath.

Not saying single word Hotch bend down and kissed her. For the first time it wasn't some shy peck on the cheek that had become quite regular between the two of them. JJ was so surprised by the intensity of the contact that she gave in to it. 'Just for the little while' she promised to herself as she closed her eyes and moaned quietly. Her hands went to Hotch's waist like they had their own will. It might have seem like forever but it lasted only seconds. Anyway, in her mind JJ already saw them two naked curled upstairs in her bed making love. It made her moan once again and she tightened her grip. Another few long seconds passed till it hit her.

NAKED.

"Stop" she begged as she placed her hands on Hotch's chest and pushed him away. He unwillingly teared away and made even one step back.

JJ's lips were shaking as she was trying to take control of the tears that were coming to her eyes. But she still had the dreamy look that seem so in contrast with the words she was saying.

"It can never happen again" she announced with determination.

"Why?" Hotch was so hard trying to keep his cool while all he wanted to do was to get her back in his embrace and kiss all pretenses away.

"It just...doesn't feel right" JJ used first lame excuse that came to her mind. It was easier that telling the truth. He could never see her naked, not after the weeks of lying.

"Excuse me, but to me it feels more then right"

"Aaron" she unusually used his given name as she tried to get through to him "It only leads one way...and I can't...I..." she nervously zipped her jacked all the way up although it wasn't cold at all.

"Jennifer," he also used her first name, the professional nicknames stayed forgotten in the work place, where they belonged "I'd never force you to do anything you are not ready for but I need us to stop pretending. I'm attracted to you, God only knows how much. And I need you to know, that if anything is wrong, you can trust me" he wanted to support his words with light touch but she made one step back to prevent it. To her honor, she didn't distrust him, it was her reaction she wasn't sure about. In one weak moment she might even tell him everything, and then she would loose him forever.

"It's just...I don't think it's only time I need. I don't think you and I...us...I don't think we could ever work. We both love our jobs too much." in her inner fights she was using the work argument frequently. It usually worked for her. But it didn't for him.

"You know we can make it work. If we want to, that is"

"I don't think I can. My work was always the safe place for me, however weird it might sound. I can't spoil it by an affair"

"What if it turned out like anything more than affair?" he was more then sure it definitely would.

"It would definitely start as one" she stood her ground.

"This is your final answer?"

"I'm afraid so..." she admitted, but seeing his hurt face she felt the need to defend herself "Don't look at me like that, I have never done anything to encourage your feelings, you know that"

"I know" he knew he couldn't place the blame on her, though it would be quite easy "some things just happen"

"I'm sorry...but can we just..." he didn't let her finish

"Don't even try to pull 'the friends' phrase with me" he warned "we are far beyond that. You are off the hook, for now, but don't even for second think this is over."

.oOo.

It was almost lunch time next day when Emily noticed the difference in behavior between her boss and JJ. The diminished observing skills were due to hangover. And she wasn't alone. As she sat on Morgan's desk holding another cup of coffee he growled at her.

"You are walking too loudly" he complained as he fought terrible headache. Emily smiled, she had been there as well.

"Take this" she put small pill in front of him next to the bottled water.

"I love you, Emily" he whispered as he gratefully took the lifesaving pill. While sipping coffee he was finally able to realize his coworker had something on her mind.

"I think we have been screwed" she spilled what was bothering her. Morgan gave her confused look

"Hotch and JJ, something had happen last night and they are even more polite to each other then they used to be" she passed to him her whole-morning observation.

"More polite? Is that even possible" Rossi as usually joined the conversation without invitation.

Surprisingly he seemed completely fit although he stayed to the end with the rest.

"How are you doing it?" Emily couldn't help but wonder. He really seemed like he was sleeping all night and not only couple of hours in the morning, as Emily knew he did.

"It's years of practice, Prentiss" Rossi said haughtily. He was enjoying the sight of his hangover coworkers.

"Go to hell" Morgan expressed his feeling. Rossi didn't bother to answer, Morgan was too easy target for that right now.

"You were saying about our two lovebirds" he turned back to Emily.

"I'd hate to brag about it, but I guess I was right. They are not able to make the move. There's something preventing them to do it. At least on one side. And they are painfully aware of that, that's why they are keeping their distance." Emily used her best profiling skills to asses the situation.

"What the hell happened to not profiling each other" Morgan wondered.

"I'm not profiling" Emily defended herself "you can call it a girl's talk" she offered alternative. Rossi answered with laughter.

"Remind me to never talk about my personal life with girls"

**Next: we are starting to get to the point**


	6. The Hardest Case

**Disclaimer: Sadly, not a single one TV show belongs to me**

**A/N Another chapter for you...I won't be able to update till next weekend, I'm sorry...so enjoy at least this chapter.**

The relative peace in the office didn't last long. It was the very next day, it was afternoon already, when Hotch knocked on JJ's office doors.

"JJ" Hotch said as he entered her office with file in his hand "this one came directly to me. It's local. Do we have anything else?" he asked as usually amazed by the stacks of the files on her desk.

"Not really I was just checking one stalking case, but the Atlanta PD recently found new lead so they don't need us" JJ informed.

"Great, so get through with the paperwork on this one. I'll cal the local PD and ask them to send us everything they have. We can brief the rest in half an hour. Is that OK with you?"

"I'll be more then ready by then, don't worry" she assured, glad that their working relationship remained at least seemingly unchanged, after what had passed between the two of them the day before yesterday.

As the doors closed behind him, JJ opened the file. She had never suspected anything, it looked like the usual (however they can be usual) serial killer, until she got to the third page where the pictures of the bodies were. She had seen thousands of them and these weren't so bad, even thought they were badly beaten. What caused violent nausea that made her run to the toilet was detail of the carving on the victim's shoulder. The 'K' was unmistakable.

It took JJ almost ten minutes to compose herself enough to start working again. She knew she should go to Hotch immediately and tell him everything, but her pride didn't allow her. It was too personal to share with him, with anyone.

She needed to work fast as she noticed Morgan getting ready to leave. He was probably having a date, she observed as he was looking too content. Too bad, the little lady is going have to wait.

JJ darted out from her office.

"Hey, Derek, not so fast" she called after him. Morgan turned back and as he noticed her holding a file he knew his date was over before it had chance to even start.

"It's Friday" he complained, like it could make the case go away.

"I'm sorry, I had plans too" she apologized 'and it definitely didn't involve hiding my darkest secrets' she thought to herself "Meeting in ten" she announced to whole group as she went to the briefing room to get ready for the hardest case in her life. On her way she stopped by Rossi's office.

"Sir, we had a case, meeting will be in ten" she informed from the doors. Even within the few seconds Rossi observed something was wrong with the liaison.

"Wait" he stopped her departure "what is it, JJ, are you OK?" he knew he asked the question in vain as she answered with predicable "I'm fine"

.oOo.

Exactly on time she stood ready in front of her coworkers. After taking one last breath in, she started.

"Local PD contacted our office because of recent murders. Three girls had been murdered in last couple of months. Amanda West, Hillary Stevens and Mary Cope were all found stabbed to death. Forensics were able to determine it was all done with the same knife."

JJ's gave only the basic informations. She didn't have much more, but she knew that the pictures she was able to obtain were for now enough to start the usual brainstorming.

"The victims share the same appearance" Reid observed the obvious "They are all white, young, very good looking girls. All were found on weekend, dressed in the party clothes."

"We can suppose he is tracking them at the clubs or bars." Emily added.

"Definitely a HE" Rossi agreed "In his thirties, maybe forties, I'd said, physically strong, those girls were young and healthy, he needed some strength to overpower them. He is fitting in to the places where he is picking them, some outsider would have been noticed and those girls would have never went out willingly with some strange individuum"

"Couldn't he just stalk them when they went home?" JJ tried to find explanation that wouldn't strike so close to home.

"No way, girls like that don't just walk home, not to mention alone. They would pick a cab in front of the club and these places are usually crowded. The UnSub wouldn't stand a chance there" Hotch added his argument.

"He must be intelligent and well educated. Not only he is not leaving any clues, but he had to be able to talk to the victims and made them be interested in him" Morgan added his opinion.

"OK, and what is his reason to attack thoése women? What is he looking for?" Emily started the discussion about the motive.

"None bodily fluids were found on the victims, but every single one was penetrated with the knife used to kill them" JJ read from the file, for the first time she had the hope. Maybe it wasn't IT yet.

"Definitely sexual" Morgan stated "But I'd guess he is impotent or something else is keeping him from having sex with his victims"

"He might be a gay, having trouble with his sexuality." Emily guessed.

"I doubt it" Rossi argued "This is definitely sexually motivated. He is looking for sexual relief."

"What if we got it all wrong" Reid tried another theory "What about a female, a lesbian, having trouble with her sexuality. Girls are more like to go out with other girls. It would be perfect cover"

JJ would kiss the young doctor for this theory. He gave her a hope, even though only for a second.

"Nah, it's far too violent" Morgan dismissed.

"The force used in this attack was too much to be caused by female. She'd have to be unusually big and strong. Someone would definitely remember her" Hotch shared his opinion.

"And Hillary was seen leaving the club with a man" Emily had just read this line in the file.

"So we have a witness and description of the UnSub?" Hotch hoped they would catch a break even before the case started.

Emily smiled "The only description we got is that he was, and I'm quoting, 'totally hot' "

"Very helpful" Morgan tried to keep his contempt on guard, with only partial success.

"OK, then" Hotch interrupted the discussion "Morgan, you and Emily go try to get anything more out of the witness, miss Jacqueline White" he added as he checked the report. "Dave, you and I will go to the club where was the recent victim last seen. Reid, you try to work on geographical profile and JJ, call lieutenant Robinson at local precinct and check where are the files I've requested, then work with Reid and Garcia and try to find similar cases. This three strikes weren't his first. He is way too good for that."

With agreeing murmur they all rose and were getting ready to go on their assignments. Hotch only added "We will meet again at 9 with more information."

**Next: More information:)**


	7. The Suspicious File

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...Seriously, I didn't create a single person in this story:(**

**A/N After long break caused by my offline status, here is another chapter of the story. This one in little bit slow, but the next one should finally bring some explanations to the whole story.**

JJ needn't to make any calls. The files arrived the moment the rest of the profilers left. She tried to delay her search by helping Reid to set up a map and making fresh coffee while her eyes were unwillingly sliding to the boxes brought in by cops. Garcia was hidden in her cave searching for anything that might help them. JJ was afraid the technician would find about her secret soon.

When she didn't find any more excuses, JJ sat down and reached for the first box. There were five of them in the room and they all contained dozens of unsolved assault and murder cases arranged chronologically. She opened every single one, checked the age of the victim, day of the attack and few other details. She left the suspicious one on the side for the profilers to consider. She was slowly getting to the date that concerned her when Reid spooked her unintentionally.

"There's not much to read from the three location, they are in different areas. Only thing I'm getting from that is the fact he is probably local. This clubs aren't the biggest one or the most popular, but after checking with Garcia I was informed these are the 'good ones' where something is always going on."

"That's at least something" JJ smiled at him friendly and then pointed to the files in front of her "You wouldn't believe how many girls is attacked in this city"

"I'll just get myself coffee and I'll come and help you" he stopped at the door "tell me again why Garcia isn't running the search on the computer?" he wondered.

JJ shook his head. The doctor was starting to rely too much on the computers. "What about good old police work" she teased, but added almost immediately "She is already running state-wide search of similar murders, but I guess this is now out of the question. Simultaneously, she is running background check on clubs owners and every single employee. Anyway, I'm also checking the photos of the victims, the UnSub is attacking only specific type. Opening every case file on-line would take some time even to Garcia"

"OK, OK" Reid gave up "I'll be right back, save some box for me"

The moment he left JJ reached for the file she left intentionally in the box while the doctor was there. She didn't need to open the file to know what it contained. Carefully, she placed it at the bottom of the files she rejected. It would be safe there, she hoped.

.oOo.

At nine, they didn't have much to go on. Morgan and Emily came almost empty handed from the conversation with the witness. The only thing she seemed to notice was the UnSub's butt and the expensive watch that made her sure he was rich. She admitted she was sorry it wasn't her he was leaving with.

Emily shook as she remembered that conversation "I sometimes wonder how world must seem wonderful place for person like that" she shared her opinion, but no one really laughed. The mood was too dark.

Even Hotch and Rossi weren't able to add much information from theirs visit to the clubs. The owners had no idea what was going on and the profilers had no reasons to not trust them. Rossi only confirmed Reid and Garcia's suspicion about the clubs being popular and well attended. The evening was only starting and the places were already crowded.

"He might be already out there, hunting" Hotch observed gloomily. It was Friday after all.

"Well, he killed last weekend. Two weeks before that and five before that. He is needing more and more of the thrill" Emily nodded.

"JJ, did you found anything in the files?" JJ was ready for Hotch's question, but she had still hoped he might have forgot about her. Not looking at him to hide the lie in her eyes she answered.

"I was passing to Reid all the files that seemed suspicious to me, he was selecting them further,"

it was almost true...only the most suspicious file was hidden safely at the bottom of the file she rejected.

.oOo.

Hotch ordered the team to go home for the night. All they could do for now was to hope there wouldn't be a murder that night.

The first thing in the morning JJ was relieved to find out the night was quiet. She was sure, that if the team got recent crime scene they would be able to work something out. JJ blushed when she realized that she didn't want the team to solve the crime. OK, she wanted them to solve it, but she didn't want them to find out about her accident. And she was sure these two things were inseparable.

The days moved forward slowly. The theories were getting more and more improbable. Garcia gave the team dozens of similar cases from neighboring states and the profilers spent almost whole weekend with them.

"Right now I could have been having sex with one hot lawyer" Morgan complained in late Saturday night "Instead of this I'm studying psychos of tri-state area."

"I'm not complaining" Emily smiled "My mother was planning to visit me this Saturday, so I definitely prefer psychos" she informed Morgan as she opened yet another file.

"And what about you, Kid?" Morgan decided that teasing Reid is going be more fun then reading case files "Did you have any plans for weekend?" before Reid could react Morgan continued "No, no...let me guess...Book signing in comics book's store."

Reid only shook his head, he tried to answer when Emily interrupted.

"Nononono..." she stopped her colleague from answering "I'd guess Star Trek marathon?"

"Nah, I got it!" Morgan continued the bizarre guessing match "on-line chess game with someone from Russia"

"Very funny, guys" the doctor stood up from his table and went to get a coffee.

"C'mon Reid, we were just teasing you..." Emily was afraid they went too far.

"You did...that's why you are never going to find out, what my plans really were" and probably for the first time he was the one to come out victorious from the word-match.

**Next: OK, you probably all guessed already, but I'm going officially unveil the secret of the file:)**


	8. The Darkest Secret

**Disclaimer: blah, blah, blah...**

**A/N after only short break, here it comes;)**

As the weekend headed to the end, the phone calls from the lieutenant were becoming less frequent as he realized the profilers didn't get much further them himself. In late afternoon Hotch decided to give out the preliminary profile they had to the highest possible numbers of police officer in whole city. He hoped that someone from them might remember some accident that weren't in files. Not every victim was willing to write a report and let the officers to take evidence. Every case like that might help.

JJ spent most of the Sunday organizing the briefing and trying to avoid every other member of the team.

.oOo.

On Monday morning JJ watched the team as they came back from the briefing. Their faces were exhausted. The meeting didn't end up with the outcome they had hoped for.

She knew she could take some of their worries away, that she could make this all easier for them. She knew she would have to do this one day, but the more she put it away, the more it was becoming harder. When Hotch sat down, she watched him for a while. He was trying to put pieces together and she knew it was impossible, because she withheld vital piece of the puzzle.

With determination JJ stood up, took the file that was at the bottom of the stack in front of her.

"Hotch, can I talk to you?" she asked quietly. Most of the heads stayed down, JJ usually had something to tell to Hotch about press conference or other media stuff, so no one really cared.

"What is it, JJ?" he didn't even bother to lift his eyes from the paper.

"Can we go somewhere private?" it was surprising request. Rossi looked up.

"Can't it wait?" he needed to find another way to the UnSub. It had to start somewhere, he just didn't look at the right place.

"I don't think so, it's case related" JJ was looking nervously at the file in her hand. Now every pair of eyes was looking at her, except for Reid's he was too lost in his own thoughts to bother with anything outside.

Hotch finally looked at JJ. She was pale and unsure. It got him puzzled. He stood up led the way to his office. She waited till he closed the door behind her and leaned comfortably at the table. She stood straight, with her eyes fixed on his tie-knot, she couldn't look him in the eyes. She bit her lips nervously. If Hotch hadn't be so concerned, he would have find this gesture very sexy, but right now she was holding him off the work.

"JJ?" he encouraged.

"I think you might need to look at this file..." she handed it to him and made few steps back. She was holding her distance. The file was marked as assault.

"You could have give it to me in the bullpen" he wondered but only till he opened it. The name of victim made him look back at the blonde in front of him.

"It's your file" he stated "and it's dated the same day as your supposed car crash" he added after short while it took him to remember.

"I know, I'm sorry..." she whispered "I wanted you to look at it, maybe it's not case related and no one else has to know" she begged.

Hotch read though the file and his face was becoming more and more grim. JJ knew very well what was in the file and when he got through to the photos she knew what caught his attention. It was the K carved to her right shoulder. When she had seen the same mark on the victims she knew this moment was inevitable.

"How long were you going to keep this a secret?" he asked in deadly whisper. Hotch never rose his voice unnecessary and JJ knew the tone. He was as angry as ever. "Do you realize I can very well charge you with obstructing the investigation?"

He was furious. The Team had spent whole weekend trying to connect the dots and the starting point was seating with them in the same room all the time. And the UnSub was at large, looking for another victim, for all they knew "You should have known better" he added severly.

"Hotch..." she exhaled amazed "I didn't mean to... I just..."

JJ was devastated. Of course she should have known better, she should have never get herself in position where she was so vulnerable. She should have never allow it happen to her. It was all her fault and her inability to admit the truth made her responsible for all the other victims since her. It was all she was able to think about for last two months.

But still she wasn't able to reveal her secret. The shame was too big. How could she put her shame in words, how could she let everyone know what the wicked person had done to her? How could she let Reid, the innocent kid, to look at the photos of her mutilated body? How could she let Hotch know she was stupid enough to get herself to this situation at first place?

And no one, no one from her life should have ever known about the things she agreed to do to even got a chance of running away.

Hotch brain was processing new evidence at the light speed, it was all falling to the right place.

"Get out" he said more severely then he intended to. He would have never ever admit that his anger was coming from the disappointment she had never came to him for help and from the fury he was now feeling to the UnSub. It had became personal.

"Get out" he repeated once more and JJ realized that tears were getting to her eyes. No way, she was not letting him to see her cry "Go home, you shouldn't have been even part of this investigation. Tomorrow I'll deal with this mess".

"Yes, sir" she said as she turned away from him. She finally accepted the fact that no comfort was coming to her from the person she cared so much about.

Only then he looked at her without the veil of anger. She was shaking and doing her best not to run away like a scared baby. He realized she just confided to him her darkest secret and he yelled at her like she had on purpose spilled confident information to the media or did another stupid rookie mistake. He made few fast steps outside the office.

"JJ" he called after her, but she was already leaving the room avoiding curious looks of her coworkers.

The Team was watching curiously first JJ, who had stormed out of Hotch's office, obviously disturbed to her office, where she had only grab her bag and then she had left the office without a word to anyone and then they watched their boss as he tried to run after her only to be stopped by the strong feeling of duty.

"We have a new development" he turned to them, bringing them back to reality. First there was work to do, he could apologize later.

**Next: interviewing the victim...**

**A/N I know I made Hotch look bad, but I hope I explained it a little bit and there is more still coming. And try looking at the bright side: now he is going to be very apolegetic;) CU soon with more.**


	9. A New Victim

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine...except for all the mistakes...I take sole responsibility for them**

**A/N Finally, this is first part of JJ's story. I did it once, then I re-did it and tonight I re-did it once more...I don't know if it's exactly what I wanted, but I have to publish it before I have time to re-did it again. The second part will follow soon.**

All eyes turned now to Hotch. "We have a new development. A new victim. This attack took place two months ago and it wasn't perfect, it was a violent assault, probably meant as a simple rape, but the victim managed to get away" he turned to the board and with one determined move he pinned photo from JJ's file to the top.

"What is it, Hotch?" Emily was the one to ask the question that was in everyone mind.

"Jennifer Jareau" Hotch used her full name on purpose. It was kind of unfamiliar and it made easier what he was about to say "She was the last victim before the murders started. She was attacked with knife, but the case was marked as a rape attempt. She was also the first victim that had 'K' carved to her shoulder" but he hold on to the file and to all the photos. They didn't need to see it. "Something had to go wrong there, because fifteen days later the killing started"

Everyone in the team was quiet for a while. No one was really surprised when Reid was the first one to do the math.

"Her car accident..." he just said.

"She has been lying to us all the time?" Rossi wondered out loud "we are some profilers" he muttered to himself.

"But how could she not tell us" Emily was still in shock. Hotch didn't know what to say, his mind was teared between the need to go find the son of the bitch, rip off his balls with bare hands and stuff them in his throat and the urge to go to soothe the blonde he offended in so terrible way.

"Calm down, everyone" Morgan spoke for the first time. He liked JJ very much, but his professional judgment wasn't blurred by love "we need to change our profile accordingly to the new findings."

He got through to Hotch.

"Well, then, Morgan, Reid, go and track every medical personal and every cop JJ came in contact that night. Dave, Prentiss, you two go and talk to the vic...to JJ"

"How are we supposed to do that?" Emily couldn't imagine her running the interview with person so close to her as JJ.

"Look, I don't want to give this case to other team. Just try to keep professional as much as possible." Hotch couldn't give her better advice, but no one wanted this case to be taken away from them.

"Are you sure about that?" Dave asked as the rest of the team left the room. He knew he was the only one who could question Hotch's decision for other then professional reasons.

"The only thing I'm sure about right now is that I can't be the one talking to her" Dave just gave him knowing look and was on his way to door when Hotch stopped him.

"Dave...make sure she's OK..."

"You know I will" Rossi promised.

.oOo.

JJ was already long time back home when she finally was able to take control of her tears

'_you should have known better'_

Henry was still at day care center and she was starting to feel alone. All the pictures from that day she was trying, even successfully sometimes, to get out of her mind were coming back with double force.

'_you should have known better'_

She tried to read a book, but it was too hard to concentrate, so she rather turned on the TV. Some soap-opera engaged her mind enough to stop thinking at least about the attack. The worries about her career couldn't go away so easy.

'_you should have known better'_

Of course she should have known better. It was one of the main reasons she wasn't able to admit the attack to anyone. If she just wasn't wearing that top and so short skirt. Maybe the heels were too much. And the makeup...she could have definitely wear less makeup. And what about her professional judgment, why the hell he didn't set off her alarm, she's FBI, for God's sake, she should have known. And what had happened to her self defense lessons? In her class she always managed to disable even the biggest guys. So why wasn't she able to prevent the attack? Maybe...maybe it was because she deserved it...

'_you should have known better'_

And maybe she wasn't as good at her work as she though she was.

When her door bell rang she turned the TV off. She winked fast to push back the tears that were again in her eyes. She knew it was coming. Slowly she opened the door. If she was disappointed Hotch wasn't there, she had never showed it.

'_you should have known better'_

She had no right to be disappointed. Hotch was the one who saw in her something that wasn't there. He was the one to be disappointed.

'_you should have known better'_

Of course Hotch's not coming. He wasn't interested in her anymore once he found out how naive she was. She had to learn to live with that. To live without him.

She didn't know how she managed to smile at Dave when she invited him and Emily in.

"I'm glad the case is still ours" she broke the awkward silence when they were seated in the living room. Rossi and Prentiss exchanged meaningful look but didn't say a word.

"OK, get it over with" JJ encouraged. She knew the drill after all. At least in one thing she wasn't complete screw up "Where do you want me to start?"

"That evening" Dave started, he knew JJ wasn't able to keep it together for much longer so he grabbed the opportunity. "Start with why you went out that night, we'll work from that"

JJ closed her eyes, but she didn't need anything to help her remember. She could see events of that night in front of her eyes even at bright daylight

"That evening...the fight with Will got really bad. The only good thing was that Henry was with my parents the whole weekend. Will had just said he had found someone new and he was leaving. I knew it was going there but the speed took me by surprise. He never packed anything, he just got into the car and left. I was..." she smiled ironically "I don't know what I was. I just knew I couldn't stay inside that night...alone. I took out my most daring clothes and went out. I passed two or three bars with nothing going on, but then I noticed The Daisy, it's club few blocks away. I have never been there before"

She knew she was babbling. But if she had learned something over the years at the BAU it was the fact that every detail mattered. As she guessed, Rossi asked her for more details

"Why did you picked this bar, did you knew someone there? Are you sure you have never been there before?"

"Yes, I'm sure" she confirmed "And why...it's hard to say. I guess it was the fact The Daisy was still crowded although it was well after 1 a.m."

"OK, so you are inside The Daisy" Emily encouraged "you went there alone, as you said. How long did it take for anyone to hook up with you?"

"I'm not sure exactly, I've already had few mojitos...you know how I like them" JJ smiled sadly. Emily couldn't help the feeling JJ was apologizing for the fact she was down and had few drinks "some guys tried to get my attention before I even got to bar"

Emily couldn't wonder. JJ was hot blondie after all, she was picturing her in the red top they had bought once together, slightly drunk and desperate enough to smile at lonely guys at the bar. It was killer combination.

"But for Kyle, it was the name he gave me, it took more then half an hour to even introduce himself. He offered to buy me another drink, so I contently accepted. We danced for some time. He was kind...my alarm never went off. I really didn't notice anything weird about him, sorry" again, the apologetic tone. "He seemed little drunk too, but I realize now...too late, I guess...it might have been only a cover. He was easy to by around, glad to please. I was actually having night of my life with him. He knew how to treat a woman. Well to some point." JJ hesitated. The moment was here. She wanted to run away, to forget it ever happen. The last thing she wanted was to talk about it. It was enough Hotch had lost the good opinion he might once had about her. And now it was going to happen with another two of her friends.

"Tell me more about Kyle" Emily tried to make this question look like girl's small talk and she tried distract JJ from the moment she clearly wasn't comfortable to talk about.

"Kyle..." JJ actually put on her dreamy face and just for the split of second it could really seem like two friends discussing last night prey "...no last name, he might have give to me, but I don't remember...he wasn't easy to ignore. He has way over six feet, blond with hazel eyes with the warm look in them...well, at least until they became icy-cold in the end. You could smell money out of him and I'm not talking about some hastily acquired million or two, I'm talking about disgusting family wealth. He was born and risen with money, it was in the way he was dressed and in the way he behaved." JJ described then shortly his look and the clothes he was wearing. Rossi made few quick notes, Emily just listened and tried to put everything into the right place.

"When did you realize something wasn't right?" Rossi was trying to get inside the UnSub's mind.

"Like I said, I didn't, well at least until he wasn't all over me." JJ tried to wrap it up quickly.

Emily finally saw the victim her friend work so hard to cover. JJ might be tough, but some things tends to leave scars that are hard to heal. Emily took JJ's hand and almost whispered

"I know it's hard, but try to remember as much as you can. He needed to get you alone at some time, how did he do it?"

"We went out together" JJ have her short answer.

"C'mon, JJ, you can do better" Dave was also encouraging his coworker. He knew they were getting to the point "Close your eyes and try to remember every detail, don't ignore anything, let us judge its relevance."

JJ obeyed. She closed her eyes shut. She hugged her knees in seek of comfort. She could almost smell the mix of perfumes and alcohol vapors from that night. The club was crowded.

"He must have been watching me for some time. I was dancing and really having good time. He came to me already holding an extra mojito and had irresistible smile. He was kind but persistent. After some time I had enough and I wanted go home, he first insisted I stayed, I let him persuade me once but at dawn I was exhausted and the situation was starting to get to me. When he realized I was definitely leaving he insisted he would give me a ride. Only then I noticed he wasn't drinking anything, but anyway I was set on getting a cab. He offered to call the cab for me and went with me outside. I never saw the first punch coming. I was so shocked I lost my balance and he dragged me into nearby alley. He beat me up pretty badly, calling me names all the time. I don't know from where he got a knife, he must have it on him all the time. He sat on my back as he carved his signature on my shoulder..."

JJ couldn't stop the shiver. She still could feel the icy blade cutting through her smooth shoulder with surprising ease.

**Next: It's quite obvious, isn't it?**


	10. My fault

**Disclaimer: Is there anyone who doesn't know the drill by now?**

**A/N WARNING! Some scenes in this chapter might be rated as M, I'm not sure, just to be on the safe side, I'm posting this warning. The next chapters should be rated again T**

**Mostly for Smileyjunior I'm posting this chapter now, but get ready for longer wait for the next one.**

**Btw, thanks to all reviewers... I check on new reviews whenever I can**

"It's OK, JJ, you are safe now" Emily assured as she watched her friend struggling with terrible memories "you are doing great"

"I was almost unconscious when I realized what was he was going to do next" JJ continued almost not noticing the interruption "It was like something changed inside of me, I started to scream and fight back, but he was too strong, he ripped my top off and was getting to my skirt. And then I... I don't know where it came from...I..."

Tears were now freely running down her face. It was like she realized she wasn't alone it the room, she looked surprised first at Emily and then at Dave. She didn't know why, but she suddenly started to be very uncomfortable.

"It's all my fault" she sobbed "I should have known better" JJ finally broke and she was crying uncontrollably. Emily couldn't watch her friend suffer anymore, she interrupted the interrogation and sat down next to her friend, hugged her and tried to comfort her. Rossi had more experience and stayed calm, though it cost him almost all his self-control.

"Jennifer" he said slowly and he waited for JJ to look back at him "whatever might have happen to you, none of it is your fault. You did your best, you fought back, but sometimes even your best isn't good enough" he spoke slowly to make sure every single word got through to her troubled mind.

"Thanks, but..." she sobbed "...but it WAS my fault, even Hotch thinks so"

"What?" Emily tightened her grip on her friend unconsciously "I'm sure he doesn't"

"He does...he said so..."

"Then he is an idiot" Rossi stated without any question allowed "though I'm quite sure it was just misunderstanding, but I'm not the one to judge any heart problems" he whispered mostly to himself, especially when he notice Emily giving him a killer stare...Now wasn't the time to explain to JJ how blind she was to some things.

Luckily enough JJ caught only the start of the sentence and smiled through tears.

"Thanks, really, but...don't give your judgment until you find out what happened next" she said sadly.

"What happened next, JJ?" Emily was trying to stay as calm as possible, but she failed big time.

"I...I...I can't say that, it's..." the didn't even know how to put this thing in words.

To his credit Rossi realized that JJ was more uncomfortable because of him.

"Why don't I get you ladies something to drink..." he offered and not waiting for answers he left the room. He used the time to call Hotch and give the team the basic description they had gotten out of JJ so far. The rest was up to the Emily.

"And Hotch" he added at the end of the conversation "what on earth did you said to this girl?"

"Why?" Hotch was surprised by the severity of the question. The threat was noticeable even through the phone.

"For some reason she's sure you are convinced she had it coming, whatever 'it' was" he was continuing with sharp tone "I know she is messing with you pretty badly, unconsciously, to her credit, but...no, don't deny it, we've all noticed that" he added as Hotch was trying explain the unexplainable "Anyway, the point is, whatever you have said, you've hurt her badly. Make sure you'll fix it until it's too late." and with this scary advice he hung up. Only then he realized he had just disciplined his boss.

.oOo.

Meanwhile it the other room Prentiss turned to her friend. She had lead many of interviews with victims in her time with the FBI, but this one was definitely the hardest. She held both JJ's hands in hers. She could feel the blonde was shaking and her hands were icy, but with Rossi out of the room JJ continued without encouragement.

"He unzipped his pants. He was enjoying being the one in charge, he was enjoying my humiliation" JJ's eyes were fixed on the wall, there was tiny till now overlooked gray smear on it. She couldn't look Emily in the eyes as she finally admitted.

"He made me take him into my mouth. I...I gave in for a little while. He was excited with his victory and he stopped beating me...I felt so relieved, at that moment I would do anything he asked me to...but I also had time to think. There was no question where it was going. He was going to rape me and somewhere along that way beat me to death. He might have even not care what would came first I made last desperate attempt to get rid of him...I...I did..."

"What did you do, Jayje?" Emily whispered, tightening the grip on her friend's hands.

"I bit him" JJ finally whispered to the deadly quiet room.

"What?" Emily knew she shouldn't look so surprised, but this short sentence influenced her more then the whole story.

The worst was now over and JJ felt like the words were flowing on their own "I think I bite off part of his penis, I don't know...He just screamed like a girl and there were a lot of blood. I have no idea what happened to him, I was focused only on getting away. The rest is simple. I knew where the police station is in my neighborhood so I went straight there. I've reported assault but I've never told them I'm working for the FBI. They drove me to the hospital, wrote the report and I haven't hear from them since. I guessed they had no clue and I didn't ask...I just wanted it all to just go away."

JJ was exhausted. She get her hands out of Emily's and draw up her knees to her chin, hugging them tightly.

Rossi felt the change of the mood in the room the moment he came back in. He could see the shocked look in Emily's eyes.

"I think we know what made the UnSub change his MO. He was rapist before and these are the cases Garcia should look for." Emily needed to bounce her ideas of someone but she was wise enough not to mention in front of JJ that she probably was the one that made him evolve into killer. Rossi also realized there was something more.

Before he could come out with believable excuse, JJ beat him to it

"Go, you two, I guess you have plenty to discuss with the team"

The profilers knew it was what they should do but neither of them was to keen to left JJ alone.

"Are you sure you are going to be OK?" Emily finally asked.

"Probably not" JJ said the truth "but go anyway, I've managed before, I'll manage now..." she managed faint smile "could you just please ask Garcia to pick Henry out of daycare?"

" Of course" Emily assured "I'll make sure he'll get home safely"

"Thank you...for everything"

.oOo.

The door bell at JJ's house rang again not even two hour after the profilers left. This time JJ opened with real smile. She was expecting her friend that would never judge her with her son. The moment the doors opened Henry demanded her attention loudly.

"Mommy, are you OK? He said you were sick." her little son was checking on her. She picked him up and hugged tightly.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm just really tired, but I'll be fine" she calmed down the baby and then for the first time he got the courage to look at he person that brought him there.

Hotch was standing there quietly and watched JJ interacting with her son.

**You've really expected I'm going to let you off the hook so easy;)**

**Next: So they are going to talk...**


	11. The Wrong Circumstances

**Disclaimer: See chapter 1 or 2 or 3 or... whichever;)**

**A/N OK, this chapter will be the last for some time, I will be off-line...but I promise I will do my best to update in week or two.**

Hotch was standing quietly and watched JJ interacting with her son. He could see the kid wasn't the only one seeking comfort in this touch. He now realized why JJ had been focused on Henry so much. Taking care of her kid was the most important reason that kept her going after the violent attack. He had hoped he could also be one of the reasons, but not after what he had done earlier today. There were no words in the world he could ever put his apology in.

"How are you holding up?" Hotch asked carefully.

"Great" she gave him sarcastic smile "awakening of painful memories is my favorite moment of the day. And of course I'm worried about my work, but nothing makes your day like being screwed by the person you thought you are starting to get close to" JJ herself was surprised where so much anger came from. Even Henry shifted himself uncomfortably at her hands and stayed quiet.

"It's OK, sweetheart, mommy is not angry with you" she whispered to her son as she noticed he was almost crying. She herself wasn't far from tears as well. When she soothed the baby she turned to Hotch who seemed dashed.

"I'm sorry" she said honestly as few tears rolled down her face "you didn't deserve that. I'm just trying to cover what a screw-up I'm. It's not your fault."

For the first time Hotch realized how the attack influenced JJ. She was a sensitive female and he had never imagine her like a victim before even though he saw hundreds of them in his career. How the hell he had never realized she could blame herself as females usually do in cases like that? How come he had never seen her world crashing down like a snowman when the spring came after long winter?

"Jen..." he started, but he didn't know how to continue. He could start with the routine he practiced over the years, but that one was different. It wasn't just any victim. It was JJ. It was personal. And to make it even worse, after that morning there was tight wall between the two of them.

Before Hotch decided what to do, Henry demanded his mother's attention loudly, bored on JJ's lap. He was also scared with the tension between the two adults.

"Hey, big boy, you are probably hungry" JJ asked, glad for the distraction. Henry nodded zealously.

"You want to come in?" she then turned back to her boss as like she for the first time really realized he was standing there.

"I don't think..." he doubted it was the place he should be right now.

"Oh, it's OK, really, come in. I was expecting Garcia and I was bit shocked by your presence, but you can be sure I'm not going to poison your coffee" she managed even to get a nice smile on her face.

"Garcia needed to stay in office, she is running a wide search in the databases" he didn't need to describe, what she was searching for. "And I can really use coffee" he accepted after a while and she noticed that the case wasn't taking the toll only on her. With Henry still on her lap she closed the door behind him and lead the way to the kitchen.

"I'm going to make sandwiches for Henry. Are you hungry as well?" JJ decided that keeping the conversation impersonal is the best idea.

Hotch realized his last food was the breakfast hours ago. He could definitely use something to eat.

"I'm taking your silence as a yes" JJ knew her boss well and she had guessed already he might have forget to eat completely.

"Yes, I'd like something to eat" he came closer to her taking Henry from her lap "but I don't have much time" he smiled as he noticed that Henry didn't protest when he was taken away from his mum by him.

"It's cheap excuse and you know that" JJ was trying to make up for her earlier hostile behavior with niceness. She knew most of what had happened today was her fault. He was right with her being withholding information. She was hiding the file after all. She had no right to shift her blame onto him

"it'll take only few minutes but if you want to go I can pack them for you to eat later" she added readily.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?" Hotch spatted without thinking. What he meant to say was that he was thankful to her for taking care of him, that he appreciated what she is doing for him after he had behave like a caveman. The words, though completely honest, weren't supposed to be said in such circumstances.

JJ dropped the knife she was holding. Not noticing it, she stared at the man in front of her. Somewhere in her brain was a voice that was advising her to turn it all to a joke, to said something like 'not as often as you should' and laugh. To do anything but taking this words seriously. But she couldn't. She had never realized before, how much she wanted to hear those words from him.

They both stayed speechlessly staring at each other. Finally, JJ bend down, picked up the knife and turned over to wash it. Hotch put Henry on his chair and went to her

"I didn't mean to scare you" he tucked her long hairs behind her ears as he wanted to see how she was reacting.

"How long does it last?" she asked like love could be timed.

"For some time now" he admitted honestly.

"And what are you expecting from me after confession like that?" she knew what she wanted to do, but it was completely different from what she should do.

"Nothing right now" he explained and to his relief she relaxed visibly "but some day, I hope to hear those words back from you" he added barely audibly.

To his surprise she stood up on her toes and kissed him

"I think I might be falling for you as well" and the moment she said the words she realized they were true. It was like you finally find the piece of puzzle you are looking for for hours to realize it's the one right in front of you. But that realization made even harder what she was about to say.

Hotch was glowing. She didn't say no, she didn't sent him to hell or somewhere else, even worse, as she should have. Whatever might have happen between them today or earlier, it all can be worked out. He would be attending to her as softly as he'd manage. One day, she'll forgive him. And then...they even might have chance.

He was so engaged with building the castles on ice he didn't hear her quiet whisper.

"What did you said?" Hotch asked as the meaning of her words got through the fog to him.

"I said, I'll hand you my resignation tomorrow. I should have made it two months ago" she repeated quietly.

"There's no way, I'll ever accept it" the ice under his castles just melted.

"Then I'll give it straight to Strauss, she will accept is gladly after she will find out about everything" JJ was determined.

"JJ, don't... you can't...you can't do it" she caught him completely off guard and he wasn't able to find good argument.

"I can and I will. I have already talked to my parents. Me and the little eater there" she smiled at Henry "are going to move back in with them for some time. And then...I have no idea what I'll do then. I just know I can't stay here. There's too much guilt and too much bad memories"

"JJ, you have just said you are falling in love with me and then you tell me you are moving out...to different state even!"

"One have nothing to do with the other. My life have just crushed into little pieces. I need some quiet place where I can pick them back up safely" she tried to explain her feelings.

"You can do it here" he realized it was going to be hard, but not impossible.

"Hotch, I...I need someone to tell me that everything is going to be fine, to put it all behind me, to love me no matter what" she didn't know how better she could explain it.

"I'll do everything I can to help you..." he offered honestly "and I'm sure it won't be only me" he added as he realized she might be more comfortable with her girl-friends.

She looked at him amazed "Tell me how are you going to that when you think it was my fault?" when she saw his shocked stare and his first tries do deny it, she explained it even further "you said it yourself. I've should known better" she repeated the words that were haunting him since Dave pointed out boldly about JJ blaming herself.

"Jen..." but before he could continue his cell rang loudly. He checked it out and – speak of the devil – it was Rossi.

"What?" Hotch answered it angrily. He had so much he wanted to say to JJ.

"Wrong timing?" Dave asked slightly amused. To be honest, when Morgan found out, that Hotch was with JJ, he begged Rossi to call Hotch himself. Dave made mental note to tell him his instincts were right.

"The worst" Hotch answered and he left the room. "what do you have?"

"Garcia found something, I think you should come back ASAP" the fun would have to wait. The case was getting complicated.

Hotch muttered few curses.

"What was that?" Rossi asked surprised from the other side of the line.

"I said I'll be right there" and he hung up.

.oOo.

JJ used the time Hotch was talking to Rossi to finally make the late lunch for Henry. She suspected what the call was about so she packed two sandwiches for Hotch. He came back to the kitchen looking grave.

"I have to go" he confirmed her suspicion.

"I've figured that out" JJ handed him the sandwiches.

"But we are not done talking" he didn't know what to do, he knew what he should do, but it was far from what he wanted.

JJ didn't answer. She nodded without words, but her eyes were saying something else. Hotch still stood undecided, but for little while the fear of loosing JJ took first place. Without warning he took her in his arms and started kissing her. When he was sure she won't be able to think straight he stopped, but still held her tightly.

"I can love you no matter what" he whispered to her hairs.

JJ's world was turning. She was sure that if Hotch loosened his hold on her she would just collapse to the ground. For a little while, she closed her eyes and let herself believe it was all possible. It was so easy to do that while she listened to Hotch's little irregular now heartbeat.

"I still have to go... I need the time for myself"

"I know..." Hotch understood her. He might have been repeating the words that he is not blaming her till he lost his voice, but she needed the time to believe it. And there was nothing he could do about it.

"Just promise me you'll come tomorrow to BAU and we'll talk" he made slight demand. She managed to get out from his embrace and just looked at him. Tears were rolling down her face.

"I have to hand my resignation" she said instead of straight answer.

Hotch didn't know what to do of it, but he guessed it was the best he was going to get.

"See you, then" he tried but he left before she had time to answer.

"Goodbye" she whispered to already closed doors.

**Next: Honestly, I have no idea:) but I had the feeling the story couldn't be ended yet.**

**I'll do my best to have new chapters ready for you the moment I'm back on-line, till then, bye.**


	12. I'm sorry

**Disclaimer: Nothing I have is really mine:)**

**Long time no see:( but next chapter is coming right up.**

Hotch arrived to the office distressed. His mind stayed with JJ. The risk of loosing her was immediate. He just couldn't switch back to being professional just like that. It was so obvious in his posture that the team stared at him for few second before they started spilling the information at him all at once.

"I've found him" Garcia was the loudest one and the rest stopped talking and listened to her report once again.

"I've found Kyle" she informed proudly "It was just like JJ said. His family could literally swim in money. Even the description fits"

"Great, do you have an address?" he asked as he finally managed to get his mind fully into the case. He just wondered, why he couldn't be informed by the phone. Anyway, the sooner he will manage to close the case, lock the UnSub and throw away the key, the sooner he can work out the stuff with JJ.

"Well, there's a little problem" Morgan interrupted his zeal.

"Don't tell me he was or still is out of the country" Hotch begged.

"No" Morgan continued "He's in, literally, in" he tried to make a lame joke.

"Hotch looked at him confused, not in mood for any jokes.

"He's dead" Rossi finally explained everything.

"What?" he asked surprised.

"Michael 'Kyle' Higgins, the oldest son to Elisabeth and Charles Higgins, the heir to the family oil empire died almost three years ago, circumstances unknown" Reid recited the information.

"Unknown?" Hotch asked again, he knew the team could do better. And really, Emily handed him a piece of paper.

"The official autopsy report was never released, but the unofficial version is, based on the first responders's report you are holding in hands, that he committed suicide. He threw himself out of the bridge to be found two days later miles down in the river. The suicide theory is also supported by the fact, that only days before his fiancée left him."

"Great, so we have a three years dead suspect." Hotch summarized the information he was given "tell me again why it was so important I had to come back?" he wondered.

"Because of that" Garcia was brave enough to talk to Hotch even through his dark mood. On the computer screen appeared a man fitting exactly the description JJ gave them. When she clicked again, there was another picture, this time of the man and a beautiful woman.

"Amelia Hinton" she pointed at the woman "she was seeing Kyle for almost three years, they were engaged six months. She left him just weeks before a wedding for the guy she met at the club." Garcia smiled as she noticed the look of approval on her boss's face "You can find a lot of interesting things in the press" she explained modestly and with another click dozens of tabloid articles appeared on the screen. Some even included photo. On the last one there was Amelia, running away from the press, but on the other half there was a strange man.

"Who's that?" asked Hotch as he noticed Garcia was dying to be asked.

"That, my dears, is Neil Higgins, Kyle's younger brother" she explained proudly. Neil looked almost like his brother, they could be in fact twins as was confirmed by the next photo on the screen. There were two brothers together, smiling.

"Someone please tell me Neil is not dead" Hotch asked no one specific.

"Nope" Emily checked his record "according to this, he still lives in the city with his parents...and what's that?" she was surprised by file appearing on her computer "looked at that, Amelia Hinton filed the restraining order against Neil. It was a month after Kyle's death. Someone had hard time coping" she commented.

"OK, I think we had enough to bring him in. Rossi, Prentiss go check his parents house and if he is there, bring him in for questioning. He and his parents couldn't know he is wanted as a suspect. They'd provide a wall of lawyers we would be never able to penetrate." The team seemed relieved as their leader got back to his feet. It was almost like working a usual case, in the spur of the moment no one even had time to notice they were one team member short. Even Garcia blushed as usual after Hotch's "Great work" and Morgan's approving wink.

"Reid" Hotch still wasn't finished. There was still something on his mind that wasn't completely adding together "I need you once again go through the case files. And include JJ's as well"

"Am I going to look for something specific" he asked while he was already placing the stack of files in front of him.

"Yes..." Hotch confirmed and started to explain to him something in whisper. The doctor only nodded understandingly.

.oOo.

Rossi and Prentiss came back empty handed. The family didn't need to even produce a lawyer. Neil wasn't at home. Although the profilers guessed his family knew his whereabouts, they didn't have any good excuse for asking them about it. So they just left their contacts and asked them to call the moment Neil came back.

They didn't even need to try his cellphone. After quick search Garcia found it disconnected. They have not much to go on. Once again they had to trust Garcia as she started the search for all Higgins's properties. Meanwhile she even managed to check if Neil left the country. It he didn't use a fake name, he was still in States and it was the only encouraging thing by the end of the day.

Once again they went home empty handed. It was becoming a terrible habit, but the next day they were glad they got the rest.

.oOo.

The next day every member of the team was already working hard again when the post arrived. Hotch was checking it quite carelessly, he had other things in mind, when he noticed the envelope marked with his name. There was no address or post stamp, so he guessed it must have been from someone in the building...or someone who knew how the system worked.

As he opened it, there was an official looking document with short note in writing he knew so well

'_Sorry, I couldn't do it personally...call me a coward..._

_Consider it an official resignation'_

_JJ'_

But it wasn't all. On the very bottom of the paper was written with considerably shaky hand.

_'I'm going to miss you all, tell everyone I'm sorry. I hope you can understand that'_


	13. Creepy

**Disclaimer: the usual**

**Bad news for you, my readers, another publishing break is coming, so enjoy the story while you can.**

Hotch read the note few times till he realize that was it, nothing more, just the official documents. He wasn't sure what to do with that, he knew that he'd be unable to reach JJ, she was far too meticulous for that. He just realized he wasn't able to let JJ give up like that. He had the feeling, she might regret her decision soon. With only little of guilt he reached for legal document of the Bureau, he hoped to find there something about extended sick leave or leave due to personal reasons. One day, she'd thank him.

"Sir, we might have a problem" Garcia interrupted his thoughts.

"Don't we have them already?" he did his best not to look guilty. He didn't know how much Garcia had known about her friends plans.

"Well, then I should say more problems" the Tech reacted readily.

"What is it, then" he laid the request he picked on side.

"I went through Neil's medical reports..." she started slowly.

"And what?" Hotch was starting to get nervous. There was something wrong about the way Garcia was trying to pass the news.

"He wasn't to see doctor, any kind of doctor, for half a year, not even a dentist, nada..." she babbled.

"So?" Hotch wasn't following Garcia's reasoning.

"The wound on his genitalia he should have according to JJ's report would have force him to seek medical attention" she informed.

"It proves nothing" in fact it was great line of defense for sneaky trial lawyer and Hotch knew it too well. But he still hoped they would be able to build such a solid case that this evidence wouldn't be essential.

"Well, it doesn't, but it does" and she put on his desk a thin file "I dug deeper" she almost whispered.

"Don't you always" Hotch wondered and his mood darkened even more.

"Charles King. According to this file he sought medical help at local public clinic. I've managed to get the whole chart. He was treated for tear wound on his genitalia the night JJ was attacked. Even the basic description fits and he has been known for trying to sneak into the popular clubs. I think we might have gone in the wrong direction. Look" she pointed to the file "he even has criminal history. Assault, attempted rape...twice"

Hotch's look was murderous. Did they really wasted whole day for nothing? Was their whole reasoning wrong?

Hotch reached for his phone. He was about to call JJ to order her to gather the team when he realized she wasn't there. He had never realized how she made things easier for him. Instead, he opened the file and read it for himself. Garcia didn't wait for encouragement and left.

Hotch felt like punching something. Finally, he had felt like they had a suspect and now there was another person of interest. But the more he read, the more he felt something wasn't right. Charles King was perfect suspect. Too perfect for his liking.

He needed to bounce of his ideas of someone else, but he didn't want to get the whole team involved, at least not yet. Instead, he opened his office doors and asked Emily to come in. When she did, he gave her photo of Charles King.

"How do you feel about him?" he asked her. She needed only second to come with the right word.

"Creepy"

"I guess you wouldn't describe him as charming" Hotch asked and watched as Emily's eyes spread with wonder "and look at that...he didn't even finish a high school"

Emily had no idea what it was whole about.

"Hotch, what's going on? Are you trying to get me a date?" she joked, she didn't know how to explain her boss's behavior rationally.

"So he isn't the kind of man you would get drink with or left the bar with" he still didn't explain anything.

"No way, the only place I would be alone with that kind of guy is the interrogation room" Emily sticked to her opinion of Charles.

"And what about JJ?" he asked unexpectedly. "Do you think she would go out with him, willingly?"

Emily looked at Hotch quietly for a while. She was considering if it were just questions of a jealous man or if he was going with it anywhere. Anyhow, she answered honestly.

"JJ?" Emily couldn't stop the laugh "C'mon, she would even double-check Dalai-Lama before she would go out with him"

Then Emily finally understood where was Hotch going with that. "You are saying this creature is another suspect? No way the person JJ described and this...this life-form is one and the same...No way" she repeated to add strength to her words.

"Then we had to find a way to prove it, because every piece of evidence and I mean every single one" he said "is pointing to him."

"Well, JJ can identify Kyle, I wouldn't see such a problem with that" Emily didn't know about JJ's decision, so she was finding this part quite easy.

"Some lawyers might" Hotch managed bit of his humor "but the main problem is reaching JJ"

"Don't tell me you two are still fighting" Emily let slip boldly and immediately blushed. Luckily for her, Hotch left it uncommented, only showed her JJ's resignation that still lied on his table.

Emily's surprise was huge.

"She never even told me...not even mentioned it accidentally." Once again Emily wondered about JJ's ability to keep her personal life to herself. At least years with profilers taught her something.

"She mentioned it yesterday to me, but I've hoped she might just be tired, that she would think it through at the morning" Emily didn't need to know the details of their conversation.

"What are you going to do about it" Emily didn't doubt for a second that big part of her friend's decision was influenced by the man in front of her.

"Well, I have few ideas, but for now she is officially on sick leave and we will see about rest after we catch the Unsub" It didn't matter he wanted to go after JJ, it didn't matter what he wanted, right now it was only what he should do.

"So lets catch him" Emily smiled encouragingly as she watched the inner fight inside her boss.

They gathered the team within minutes. The goals were simple: one - Find Neil Higgins, two – find Charles King, three – find JJ and four – gather enough evidence to convince the right guy.

It seemed almost easy once it was all lined up in front of them. The only problem was, they had no idea where to start. Well at least until Garcia appeared on the screen, she was too busy to came personally.

"Well, my fearless profilers, here we go: I've found very deserted property of Higgins family, it's about one hundred miles down the shore, standing pretty isolated, the exact location is coming to you now" And really, all of theirs Blackberries went off.

"Morgan, call local PD, make them check it out" Hotch ordered quickly, expecting more knew from Garcia. And he wasn't wrong.

"Finding Charles King was bigger problem, but he very recently checked into the rehab facility at the suburb. There's hope he might be still there." Again, the Blackberries went on.

"You are the best, baby girl" Morgan had already finished the conversation with the PD.

"Tell me something I don't know" Garcia dared, but continued quickly, before she could change her mind "and as a bonus for the Boss-man, the address of JJ's parents" and really this time only Hotch'es 'Berry went on. He whispered something what might have been taken for 'thanks' but Garcia didn't dare to wait and disappeared from the screen quickly.

To everyone surprise Charles King was the one to be found first. He really was still in the rehab facility but he wasn't exactly cooperative. He couldn't deny his visit to the clinic on the day of interest, nor had he alibi for any other part of the night. Morgan and Rossi decided to bring him in.

Neil Higgins whereabouts were another story. The house on the beach was deserted, not were there any signs of person staying there lately. They still had nothing to go on. They started the boring job of checking every Higgins'es property hoping to get lucky.

Finally, Emily disgusted after checking fifth address in vain came with an idea.

"There has to be easier way than that. It's not possible to check every address...I hate wealthy families." she moaned desperately "But really, from what we were able to figure out about Neil, he is that kind of guy that runs to mommy when he had problems."

"How do you figure that out" Rossi was glad to do some profiling instead of paperwork.

"Been there, date that" Emily joked but seeing Hotch'es not-at-all amused glare she explained "look at his life, he had never been out of the time longer then on vacation and I guess he spent most of them with his parents, he went even to collage at the city and he never even tried to get a work anywhere else than with the family corporation. He had to be in contact with his parents now. We should check their phone records"

"Well, we should" Rossi agreed "but we don't have a probable cause" he argued.

"They are harboring a fugitive, for God's sake" Emily couldn't help herself.

"Unfortunately, we don't have any proof of Neil's guilt" Rossi wouldn't let go.

"Actually" Reid, unnoticed before as he was buried deep in the files and other stacks of paper, unexpectedly joined the conversation "we might have...

**Next: getting the suspects and building the case;)**

**I felt like a little cliffhanger tonight. I know it's no biggie, but I'm at least satisfied (well, little bit;)**


	14. About the damn time

**Disclaimer: Sadly, still the same even after all the time**

**A/N Short chapter to assure I haven't forgotten about you all. Another chapter will follow this weekend, so keep reading. We are getting to finale soon. **

"Actually" Reid, unnoticed before as he was buried deep in the files and other stacks of paper, unexpectedly joined the conversation "we might have...well, not about the attack, no, but he wouldn't be the first major criminal caught at the lesser charges at first. For example..."

"I swear, one of these day I'm going to kill him" Emily interrupted rudely Reid's monologue. The doctor blushed slightly and in hurry explained "He had a standing parking ticket, for almost five years now, I think it's time he paid his debt to the state."

"How much is it?" Rossi asked amused, his humor was 100% better.

"Well, then it was 20 dollars, but now it's over 2000" Reid of course didn't even use piece of paper to do the math.

"I think it's reason enough to bring him in" Morgan keenly observed.

"Great, get a warrant and get his mother's phone log. Check it in last few days some new number appeared" Hotch ordered.

It took Garcia less then half an hour to come up with the address. To all of them surprises Neil was still in the town. He wasn't even trying to stay low profile, he was living in one of the most expensive hotels, using company name and credit card. The girl on the reception identified him from the photo without hesitation. From there it took them only minutes to get Neil into custody and drive him into the FBI building.

But life is never that easy. Not long after Neil was seated into the interrogation room his lawyer arrived. After hearing the charges he immediately offered to pay off every debts and after few phone calls from him to persons on the right spots it was all set up. The team didn't have even chance to interrogate him. It was time to start play the ball.

"We can't let Neil Higgins go, yet" Hotch with determination announced to the family lawyer.

"Why not, the fine is settled so everything is OK." but after he noticed that Hotch was standing his ground the lawyer decided to play ball too "C'mon, you wouldn't like your superior to find out you were uncooperative"

"Are you threatening me" Hotch asked and neither from his mimic nerves moved. The lawyer, although used to though opponents, started to sweat.

"No" he said still very venomously "you can consider it a friendly advice"

Hotch still didn't even blink "Too bad, I was looking forward to charging you as well"

"As well?" the lawyer wasn't getting paid for nothing after all, and word games were his specialty

"Are you saying you are going to charge Mr Higgins?" he asked readily.

"Not yet" Hotch made as slight pause and then he risked everything. After all, JJ deserved it "but Neil Higgins is a suspect in ongoing criminal investigation and we like to keep him in our custody for 48 hours. I guess it's all legal"

"A criminal investigation?" the lawyer didn't loose a beat "what proof do you have about my client involvement"

For the first time Hotch smiled slightly "The fact you didn't even asked what investigation makes me very hopeful." the lawyer realized his mistake. Too late he gave Hotch credit for his ability "anyway, we'd like to check your client's alibi and then we'd like to talk about his checkout with court assigned doctor.

"But why him? Are you picking up your suspect by the way they look or you just point your finger and take the nearest person into custody?" the lawyer made another desperate try.

"We are arranging for line up, but we have other evidence linking your client to the murders" Hotch had his arguments ready.

The lawyer gave up "I'd like some private time with my client"

"It's that way" Hotch pointed to the corridor and asked one younger agent to take him. Again, nothing in his posture showed that he just won one huge battle, nor that he was getting ready to he chew up by his superiors. Well, at least the chewing is going have to wait, he thought as he started gathering the team.

"OK, we had both our suspects in our custody" he announced and for the first time with this case the team felt like they managed something. "but the hardest part is still in front of us. Dave, I want you to interrogate Higgins. He and his lawyer are going to be pretty though, but we are playing for time, so stay on your game. Prentiss, you have Charles King. He, on the other hand is going to be piece of cake so you help Dave if he needs anything." she nodded, but wasn't very happy with this assignment.

"As for you two" Hotch turned to Morgan and Reid "I need you to get as much of the victims of previous rapes as possible. Reid, you know which cases I mean and I guess you know them best, so pick the girls you are able to find fast. Also, made sure that the Officer Wallace is going to be here at tomorrow line up, he was the lead investigator of JJ's case. The show should start at seven p.m."

They started to gather the information they needed and were about to leave the briefing room when Rossi asked

"And what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to get our star witness" Hotch admitted like it was the most natural thing for him to do.

Surprisingly, the team went on without stopping, but he could swear he heard Morgan whisper to Emily

"It was about the damn time."

**Next: Guess what? Right, JJ is going to appear again on the scene.**


	15. We need you

**Disclaimer: See chapter one, two, three...**

**A/N OK, I realize this chapter is kind of cliché, but I was really down when I wrote it and I needed something comforting and familiar. And it fitted quite well to the story so I decided to publish it anyway. If you find it too...well too whatever-you-don't-like just read through the dialog in the second half and you won't lose anything crucial to the story.**

Hotch stopped the car at the address Garcia gave him. It was tidy looking house standing alone at the end of the road. The garden was well kept with plenty of flowers all around. In the shadow of the old tree he noticed little boy only in a swimming suit trying to convince older man still fully dressed to go inside of the little pool he was playing in. The older man was bravely resisting although he was maybe even more wet then the kid. Hotch recognized Henry immediately.

As the man noticed stranger entering the garden he looked at him suspiciously and got Henry out of the pool. Hotch walked slowly towards them because he didn't notice anyone else around.

Before any of the man could say anything little Henry recognized the unexpected visitor.

"Hotch" he exclaimed and run towards them and demanded to be lifted up. It was funny listening to the little kid using the short version of his name. JJ always tried to learn Henry to call him Mr Hotchner, but it was impossible while she herself called him Hotch.

"Good afternoon, sir" Hotch turned to the man he supposed to be JJ's father "I'm looking for Jennifer Jareau"

"And you are?" Dan Jaraeu asked little more warmly as he watched his grandson feeling safe in the stranger's lap. He knew the 'Hotch' from his daughter's stories, but one couldn't be careful enough. Especially, when Jenny hadn't been talking about him at all since she got back home.

"I'm Aaron Hotchner, I work for the FBI" he confirmed the older man suspicion. He hesitated only for a second before he said.

"Jenny is with her mother at the back of the house, let me show you" he offered and tried to take Henry back, but the kid was comfortable where he was. Well, look at that, and it was just yesterday when he watched his daughter not answering her phone when Hotch called.

"And how exactly do you know Jenny?" Dan asked as they walked through small orchard at the side of the house. He was gathering information.

"We worked together for some time" Hotch answered gladly.

"And why are you here?" Dan's questions were becoming more and more uncomfortable for Hotch. He felt like he was being interrogated. This man would do for a great investigator. He could scare the UnSub with a single look.

"It's case connected" Hotch didn't know how much had JJ said to her parents and he didn't want to spill anything. Especially not in front of Henry.

"She came here to take a break from things like this. She didn't expect anyone" Dan was way too much protective of his daughter. After all, if she didn't want to talk to this guy, there must have been a reason.

Hotch started to suspect JJ had told her parents at least something and he wondered if she had told them about her last days with the FBI. Judging by the hostile stare on her father's face he'd guess that she might drop a hint.

"We need her help that's why I came personally instead of just calling" Hotch was starting to be really uncomfortable. He now realized why JJ felt so safe here, the single look from her father made him realize he saw through his lie. He knew very well JJ wasn't answering his calls and he let him in only because he didn't have any good reason to kick him out. It didn't mean he wouldn't do it at the first chance. Hotch made a note to be really careful.

Before Mr Jareau could ask anything else they arrived to two females weeding the flowerbeds.

"Jenny, you have a guest" none of the females noticed their arrival before Dan had spoken.

JJ lifted her head. She wasn't wearing any make up and there was dirt smear on her face, but she seemed completely relaxed and happy. She even smiled, the lazy smile of someone who isn't expecting any unpleasant interruption, but it lasted only until she realized who was standing in front of her. Then her expression changed rapidly. Hotch was even worried for a second her father might proceed to the ass-kicking part.

"Hotch, what are you doing here?" she wondered. Hotch felt suddenly out of place standing here in his dark suit, he felt like an intruder. And he was, he was bringing the evil of the outside world to this oasis of peace.

"I need to talk to you" he said lamely.

"I..." JJ hesitated. She was avoiding this conversation for too long now. He looked good, too good considering he must have spent at least four hours driving to get up here. Just when she started to think she was getting her life back.

"Jenny, take your guest inside, get him something to drink. Mr Hotch...?" JJ's mother hesitated.

"I'm Aaron Hotchner, ma'am" he introduced himself again.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Diane Jareau. I've never understood the nicknames, like Jenny here, who would call girl 'JJ'?"

"Mum..." JJ growled. No one, no one could humiliate person like a mother could. No one was calling her Jenny since she was 15...except her parents.

"Hotch is...I mean...was my boss" she put an accent on the boss part. She needed her mother to realize there was definitely no sound of wedding bells from that side. Her mother always wanted to wed her to every man that came to visit her. Well, except for Will, and she was right there... But to prove their professional relationship she took determinedly Henry from his lap and said.

"Henry, sweetheart, go play with grandpa, I need to talk to Hotch" the kid looked at her sadly but wouldn't dare to disobey her. Henry smiled sweetly at his grandpa and caused him to seem less severe.

"I guess you've already met my dad" JJ asked as she realized she need to keep her cool. Hotch didn't know exactly what to say, but the older man shook his hand.

"I'm Dan Jareau" he introduced himself and surprised Hotch with bone-crushing hand-shake.

"Nice to meet you, sir" Hotch answered when he got his hand back and with this JJ hoped the introduction were over.

"Come" she turned to him, hoping to get him as far away from her parents as possible before they could humiliate her any more "I'll get you coffee" and she led the way towards the house. But today wasn't her lucky day.

"Jenny, invite Mr. Hotchner to dinner" mom ordered with tone not leaving any room to argue.

"He is probably going right back to DC" JJ said giving Hotch deadly stare.

"Actually" he was feeling sorry for JJ,she somehow managed to display every shade of pink he knew on her cheeks, but he couldn't lie "I'm staying in the town tonight" he had already booked room in the only town's hotel.

"Great, then you can eat dinner with us" Diane finished the conversation and left no room for arguments.

JJ invited Hotch in and with sight of relief closed the doors.

"Sorry about that" she said in matter-of-fact way "but don't worry, they do it to all male-strangers that come to visit me" and she gave him apologetic smile.

"They were nice" Hotch said as he gladly accepted glass of ice tea.

"And you don't have to stay for the dinner if you don't want to" she offered him excuse.

"I..." he hesitated.

"I mean it...you don't need to" she repeated somehow roughly.

"If you don't want me here, I'll go. But let me first explain why I'm here" now he was in one room with JJ he was not going to let her run away so easy...again.

"Coffee?" she asked, not commenting his previous offer.

"No" he finished the niceties "and sit down" he pointed at the chair in front of him.

She took deep breath. He came all the way up here so the least she could do was to listen to him.

"So what is it" she sat down at the offered chair ready for whatever he brought upon her.

"It's the case" Hotch started in damn-too-much-work-related tone and JJ nodded understandingly. There was only slight disappointment in her eyes and she winked it quickly away. For a second she hoped he came to tell her he couldn't be without her.

"We caught the suspect and we need you to ID him" Hotch continued not noticing the way JJ's thoughts were going.

"Isn't there any other way?" she asked pleadingly, she recovered immediately from the disappointment and was sure the last thing she wanted to do was to go back there, where her life crashed "I don't think I'm ready to go back to DC" she admitted honestly.

"All we need you to do is to come with me and pick him from the line-up. I...we'll do everything we can to keep you from testifying in front of the jury, but the identification is necessary to even charge the suspect."

"So you don't have any proof" JJ dared to tease a bit.

"Well...we might have something, but we need him to stay in the custody and it's only possible after positive ID." Hotch was sure JJ knew the drill and he didn't want to seem too insisting. It might scare her.

"And I guess we will have to go right away?"

"I have to go tomorrow morning anyway" he avoided straight yes, but the conclusion was simple.

"And you want me to go with you?" she asked anyway.

"The line-up is set up for tomorrow afternoon. I'll drive you in the morning. You can take plane back and be back here the same night." he said simply "Or you can stay for some time." he added more hopefully.

"Wait, the line-up is set? What if I decided I don't want to go?" she of course caught the most important thing and wisely left his final offer uncommented.

"We have other witnesses, victims of previous crimes, but neither witness is as reliable as you and neither of the previous crimes is as serious. Especially considering you are the FBI agent."

"I was" JJ corrected immediately.

"Of course" Hotch did his best not to appear guilty.

JJ was deeply in her thoughts. She might not be FBI agent anymore (or so she thought) but the sense of duty was still very strong and the idea that the suspect might walk free if she didn't stop him was the determining factor.

"I'll go" she just said. She didn't comment anything, didn't share any other travel plans. It was simple, she had duty to fulfill and anything else might be figured out as they went.

"Thank you, it's a great help" Now, that the officials were dealt with, he needed to start on more personal business, he just didn't have idea how to went about it.

JJ felt his hesitation and suddenly was uncomfortable with the little tete-a-tete they were having in her parents kitchen. The room was too small. She jumped to her feet.

"I'm going to get my mom, she is probably dying with curiosity. God, we were talking for more then half hour" she observed. She walked towards the door but turned back before she opened it. She gave Hotch smile he haven't seen on here for some time, it made her look beautifully young and full of life. He could almost seem teenage JJ growing up here, giving her parents hard time.

"You have one last chance to run away" she interrupted his pleasant thoughts.

Still completely lost in his mind Hotch assured her he could take it. JJ winked at him knowingly.

"You wish" and with that she called after her mum.

**Next: From now on it's going to be fast. One more chapter with the parents, then the ID, few surprises before the end that try to make this story at least little bit unpredictable and then, hopefully, happily ever after.**


	16. Herself again

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Shortly before midnight Hotch lied exhausted into his hotel bed. Alone. He smiled at the memory of just passed evening. He wondered why the hell he didn't take JJ's advice and just didn't run away.

Not that it was all that bad. He hadn't have a family dinner for ages now and nothing was more family-like than Jareau family.

_The table was full of home-made food and even after the dinner Mrs. Jareau tried to feed Hotch with muffins._

_Mr Jareau was curious about the DC and about JJ and her work with the FBI. Once again Hotch thought that he would make a great investigator, he always got even the hidden point in the story and always asked the right (and so hard to answer) questions._

_But the most wonderful participant in this whole mess was JJ. She was relaxed, smiled more often then he ever remembered about her. She was mostly attending Henry who loudly demanded to be allowed to eat dinner with the 'big ones' but somehow she always managed to blush when Hotch was complimenting her work._

_He couldn't remember when he got so comfortable he dared to take off his jacket and even a tie. He himself was surprise by this familiarity but he felt completely out of place while other persons in the room were so casually dressed. But it has one positive effect as well, he could swear that once or twice JJ was staring at him while she thought he wouldn't notice._

_But Hotch made one crucial mistake. He never noticed Mrs. Jareau match-making-tendencies. Too lately he realized JJ's meaningful warning winks when he spoke too highly of her. Once, she even kicked him under the table as he started to talk about the weekends they went out together with Jack and Henry. _

_JJ growled quietly as her mother pointed out_

"_Jenny never mentioned you two went out." she observed innocently "She never tell us that kind of thing"_

"_That's because there was nothing to mention, mum, we are just friends." JJ tried to explain._

"_This is what you kids call it today?"_

"_Muuuuuuum!" Hotch could swore JJ turned even more red although objectively it wasn't possible._

Hotch turned to the other side. It weren't Mrs. Jareau obvious comments that made him cautious. He was more uncomfortable with JJ's father knowing stare. He asked the right question about their ability work together, about the little free time while they had while off on the case and about the time he had spent with Henry and Jack.

Hotch was sure Mr Jareau saw right through him. Hotch knew the older man was very well aware he was in love with his daughter. What he didn't know and wasn't able to figure out was the 'daddy's' opinion about him.

But it still wasn't the part that kept him now awake. The dinner ended too soon for his liking, but he had to wake up early tomorrow morning. JJ offered to walk him to his car.

"_I hope they weren't too awkward" JJ felt the need to apologize for her parents. She loved them very much and in no way she was ashamed of them, but they belonged in completely different world then Hotch and he might find their behavior uncomfortable. For example the mum's content smile as she offered to go with Hotch._

"_Actually, I haven't had such a great dinner in a long time" he said honestly._

"_Thank you" JJ whispered and realized she was standing surprisingly close to Hotch. Although he was wearing the jacket again he didn't bother with the tie and looked different – the good kind of different._

"_If I kissed you goodnight, would your father shoot me?" he asked half seriously. He really wasn't sure. He wasn't able to read the man even after whole evening._

"_We are not in Texas" she smiled and he noticed she didn't object "but my mum might have our wedding planned before I get back to the doors" she admitted._

"_I'm going to risk it" he whispered and bend down. JJ leaned forward and rested her hands on his chest. She was feeling like a teenage girl and was enjoying this kiss as a one too. But she made sure to interrupt it after a little while._

"_Goodnight" she whispered and made one step back._

_Hotch still dazed took a while to come back to reality._

"_Goodnight," he answered "I'll pick you up in seven, then" he reminded her their previous agreement._

"_I'll be ready" she said out loud 'I hope' she added to herself._

Hotch could still feel the kiss. Finally there were no secrets between them and once JJ makes positive ID on Neil this whole mess is going to be behind them. Then, he decided, he was going to ask JJ on normal date. They would start all over, with positive result this time.

As he was falling asleep only one cloud covered his sunny sky: his little charade with the resignation.

Why on earth couldn't the two of them catch a break?

.oOo.

Hotch was on time, as usual. JJ was just kissing still sleeping Henry goodnight when she saw the car pulling on the driveway. She quietly closed the door and run down the stairs. She almost made it to the door when her dad's voice stopped her.

"Jenny, you know you don't have to do it. You came to slow down here and on the first opportunity you go right back" her father displayed honest concern.

"Don't worry daddy" she hugged him "I might not be completely fine with that, but it is my duty."

"You are not FBI anymore, they can't make you" there was still worry in her father's voice.

"I want to do that." JJ stood her ground "What would you think about me if I stayed safely hidden here while the man walks free and hurts other women"

Dan held her in the embrace just a little bit longer.

"I'm just taking care of my little girl" he whispered and as he noticed JJ taking breath to argue "and the fact you are all grown up now doesn't change a bit."

"Oh, leave it, Dan" Diane also came to give her daughter goodbye "You go, Jenny, give the criminal what he deserves and then have a great time" she added with one breath.

"I'll be back this night" JJ reminded them she was planning to catch the night flight back.

"Nonsense. All your friends" and she put accent on the word friends "are down in DC. You go out with them, get your life back at least for day or two. We will be only glad to spent some time alone with Henry"

"I know and thank you mum, but I really want to come back" and she meant it, only somewhere very deep inside her quiet voice shared it's doubts about that statement.

"We'll see" and with that Diane practically pushed JJ out of the door mumbling something about it not being polite to let someone wait.

Hotch waited patiently by the car. He mumbled quiet welcomes and opened the doors for JJ. He noticed the difference in her posture, she wasn't the relaxed girl anymore. She wore her work suit, her hair were neatly pinned on the back of her head and she had the serious look all over her face.

"You OK?" Hotch asked after few minutes of awkward silence.

"I don't know, ask me in the evening" she ended every try on conversation before it even had the chance to start.

They spent couple of hours almost in complete silence. They exchanged only some observations about the roads, JJ asked few questions about how the case was going. Hotch of course couldn't tell her much to avoid any appears of bias, so it wasn't much help. JJ finally felt asleep so she never noticed that they reached the destination.

Hotch hesitated. She was so beautiful while asleep. And so vulnerable. He was tempted to turn the car and get her back to the safety of her hometown. He would do anything to get the smiling girl from yesterday back.

JJ woke up with terribly stiffed neck. The lack of movement made her open her eyes to realize she was in the underground garages of the FBI building.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep all the way." she said to Hotch compassionately "the drive must have been completely boring for you"

"It's not like we had some kind of conversation anyway" he observed truthfully.

"Sorry about that" she whispered and Hotch admitted to himself no one could blush so beautifully as she could "I guess I'm just nervous"

Hotch nodded understandingly and checked his watch.

"It's lunch time. Do you want to come up with me or are do you want to wait in cafeteria."

He was giving her great excuse to hide herself for the afternoon so she could avoid weird questions or even some unresolved grievances with the team. The way she had left wasn't particularly nice. He gave her even excuse to stay as far from his as possible. And then she realized it was the last thing she wanted to do. Everything here was connected to Hotch. The garage, the cafeteria even the corridors had some connection to Hotch and she knew she couldn't bare knowing he is somewhere in the building and she's not close to him. Whatever passed between them was now ancient history although it was just days ago. Even during the very few days she was away, she gained perspective and realized one thing: Nothing that happened was her fault. And not only considering the attack. The break-up with Will, the next victims of the killer, even her last argument with Hotch weren't solely her fault. She was able to admit her part of guilt (especially in the part of her private life), but she wasn't beating herself about it anymore. She had her self confidence back. She was back herself.

"I think I'll go up with you" JJ surprised Hotch with her answer.

**Next: Back with the team**


	17. Number Two

**Disclaimer: no time for that**

"As you wish" Hotch answered quickly, before she would have time to change her mind.

Although JJ was nervous how would the team react when she appear on the floor, her worries were blown away by certain technical analyst.

Garcia jumped immediately at the sight of JJ.

"Sweetheart" she ran towards JJ and hugged her tightly "I'm so glad to see you"

"I'm so glad to see you too, Pen, but if you don't let me go, I might not see anything anymore"

"Oh, I'm sorry" Garcia exclaimed and loosed the grip little "but you got me so worried, don't ever, EVER disappear again, because I would have to cuff you to my computer. I'm sure Morgan would let me use his cuffs, wouldn't you, my chocolate god?" she babbled, but by the looks on rest of the team faces was obvious that they would all lend Garcia their cuffs gladly. They were all very happy to see JJ.

"OK, so where are we?" Hotch asked the team, but then he realized there was slight problem. "JJ, you can use my office" and as he notice disapproving look especially on Garcia's face he explain "she can't be here, because her identification of the suspect might be rejected as biased"

"I can go get some lunch, so we wouldn't have to order" she proposed "you have to eat"

She didn't need to ask if they had eaten yet. Judging by the stacks of the files on the table half of them hadn't had a breakfast today. "I'm buying" she offered.

"Then count me in" Rossi was the first one who allowed himself to make Hotch wait a while for the reports and then every other followed. JJ didn't have to asked about every person preferences, she just knew. With promise she would get herself coffee first she made obvious she wouldn't be back for at least one hour. It should be enough time for them to discuss whatever they needed. With slight pinch of jealousy to everyone staying in the room she went out.

.oOo.

Hotch watched JJ walked out of the room. He was almost sure he saw longing in her eyes, but he might have been imagining things. The sound of closed doors brought him back to reality.

"So, where are we?" he repeated question.

This time team answered readily.

"Charles King was piece of cake." Prentiss started. "After about fifteen minutes he spat out everything including name of the neighbor he stole apples from as a kid. The night in question he had gotten himself into the bar fight, the bartender confirms that. He remembers because of the specifics of the wound...

Apparently, Charles was cut with broken glass and I found no reason to distrust him. Anyway, after detailed check-up I've found his log on the clinic, he had arrived there about 15 minutes before the attack even occurred." she informed the team "Charles is ready for the line-up. Even though his alibi checked out he had volunteered."

"That's great news, good work, Prentiss" Hotch appreciated the effort. "Dave?"

"Well, Neil is completely different story. I have no idea who is more annoying: he himself or his lawyer. Their favorite words are I don't remember or I'd rather not say. But with Emily's help we managed to dug up the family doctor's name, but he was unreachable."

"Big surprise there" Morgan commented. Rossi gave him quick smile and continued

"Garcia found a phone call to this doctor around the time after the attack in his phone log. It was made from one of the cheap motels in the neighborhood of the club. Unfortunately, Neil must have paid with cash, because we didn't found logs of his credit card, neither the company one"

"That's all?"

"Unfortunately. Most of the profile checks out, but we don't have any evidence. If the line-up doesn't provide sufficient identification, he walks." Rossi informed gravely.

"Well, hope that's doesn't happen." Hotch observed realistically. Then he turned to Morgan and Reid "And what about you two. Was your search successful?"

"From eight victims we picked five. At the end we were able to locate three, they all here now, their statements are being revised and they've all agreed to take a part in the line-up" Reid said, but in his voice was obvious hesitation.

"What is it, kid?" Rossi asked.

"Let's say they are not what you would call a credible witness" Morgan answered instead of the doctor "Don't get me wrong" he continued as he saw Hotch's reaction "their stories stick, every single one, but I'm not sure how would they characters appear after a top class lawyer is done with them"

"We still have JJ" Reid tried to add some optimism, but Hotch seemed even more grim. Although JJ was holding up great, he wasn't sure how she would react, if it all went up to her and only her.

"Let's hope it not ends at her. The more witnesses, the stronger case" he tried to seem all non-partial although he had the feeling the team knew better. Maybe except Reid.

"And what about Chief Wallace?" the policeman was the last one on Hotch's 'to-check' list.

"I've called him, informed him about the line-up. He promised he'd be here." Reid referred the outcome of the short conversation he had with the Police Chief.

"Let's hope he will" he murmured more to himself then the teammates.

In about two hours they were still seated together in the conference room, working out last loose ends in the case and getting ready for the evenings 'grand finale'. The knock on the door was very quiet.

Rossi was closest to it so he went to open. JJ stood there, holding big pack of take-out.

"Is it safe now?" she asked carefully.

"We are all done talking, for now. I think we all need a break." as he opened the door wider so JJ could pass easily he joked.

"Are you going to feed the whole army?"

"Actually..." JJ sticked her head out "Pen, come on!" and Garcia came out holding even bigger bag, if it was possible.

"I needed some help" she admitted.

The files stayed closed and forgotten while they attacked the bags. No one really noticed how hungry they were until the delicious smell filled the room. After about hour they managed the impossible. There was nothing left to eat and the mood in the room was noticeably lighter.

"I'm sorry to end your break" Hotch checked his watch "but we need to get ready." Although not very gladly, the team cleaned every signs of the lunch. JJ was packing all papers into one bag and she was about to take it out when Hotch stopped her.

"Leave it now. It's almost half past five. I'll get one of younger agents to walk you through the line-up protocol. I know you think it's not necessary, but this are the rules. The agent will also make sure you won't come to contact with the others victims prior to the identification."

"Ok, I can understand that" but suddenly while it was here, she was nervous. What if she doesn't remember him as well as she think. What if she point at the wrong person or she couldn't point at anyone at all...

JJ didn't have much time for the thoughts. In few short minutes young female agent came in the room. She smiled at JJ friendly and asked her to follow her.

.oOo.

When JJ entered the room she found it was terribly dark. She could more feel then see Hotch's presence there. Somehow, she found it encouraging. The agent assigned to her stood next to her, so she could see at least her dark figure.

"OK, miss Jareau, we talked about it. Take as much time as you need. The men on the other side can't hear or see you. You can make few steps towards the glass and still be completely safe." the agent once again explained how it worked.

JJ took the courage and for the first time looked towards the six lined up men in the lightly lit room behind the glass. To her disbelief she recognized the man from her nightmares immediately. She didn't even need to look at all of them.

"Number two" she whispered.

**Next: the last chapter**

**Seriously, I've done it!**


	18. Good to be home

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal minds or it's characters.**

**A/N Wow, so I've made it. Once again I apologize for the long delays between chapters, there were caused by my moving to new town. I'm still without Internet connection and it seriously sucks:(**

**Thanks to all who where so patient to read the whole story and special thanks for those who reviewed. You were all amazing. **

"Are you sure?" Hotch asked carefully.

"Damn right I'm sure. This creature stole my life from me. It's him" JJ said confidently this time. "Can I go now?" she didn't want to be in the same room with Neil although they were separated by glass.

"Of course" the agent led her towards door. "We need you to sign some papers." But they just got out to the waiting area when loud voice stopped them.

"So this is what are you going to build your case on? A testimony of few stupid chicks?" the voice of Chief Wallace sounded through the waiting area JJ just entered. Hotch was right behind her and the question was meant for him.

And JJ looked around. It the waiting area sat three girls. She guessed it were the other victims, already 'processed' as her escorting agent called it. One looked young enough to be still in high school, where was the place Reid had found her. The second one was definitely a professional escort although definitely not a cheap one and the third one was too young single mother considering by the baby sitting on her lap.

"Look at that, no jury would ever trust a hormone-pumped teenager, a whore, a person who doesn't know what birth-control is and ...and I have absolutely no idea what the hell are you" he pointed at JJ. She looked shocked, she wasn't even able to answer.

"Actually" Hotch finally gave him a winning smile "she works for FBI"

Wallace stopped like hit by the lightning. "What? You are making this up" there was obvious plea in his voice.

"I don't think so" and he handed already shocked cop JJ's credentials.

"I think we had one more person to charge" Hotch nodded towards two agents standing by the doors. Every person it the room looked at him with utmost surprise. "Take him into custody and read him his rights"

"I've always suspected you were crazy, but it exceeds my biggest fears." Wallace tried to turn it all to joke. And JJ would have believe him, if it wasn't coming from Hotch. He might have some sense of humor, but definitely not in the work place. She waited curiously for the further explanations.

"And your boldness overcame my expectations. How long were you on Higgins's paylist?" Hotch asked almost innocently.

Reid supported Hotch and this time his blabbering didn't bother anyone. Except Chief Wallace.

"We checked every case file in which Neil Higgins was a suspect. You were the lead investigation in every single one of them. It's very surprising that experienced and seasoned cop as yourself works personally the case of a escort being assaulted"

Morgan added his explanation.

"All girls testified to you making effort to diverse and undermine their stories. Lisa here" he nodded towards the school-girl. Lisa winked back at him and blushed slightly 'She would be fine' JJ thought, but immediately turned her attention back to what Morgan was saying "she said, that she had pointed out few times that the attacker reminded her of Neil Higgins and you had dismissed her as having too big imagination."

Emily finished.

"But surprisingly the biggest help was Charles King, who volunteered in the line-up. He was number five. And for your information, not single witness picked him. Anyway, he said you paid him a visit, asking about the night. You made only one mistake. If you had checked the sign-up log and not only his chart, you would know Charles was at the clinic before the attack"

"Take him away" Hotch repeated the order. The agents this time obeyed immediately.

And the sight of the bad guy being taken away by the cops gave JJ taste of the life she loved that much.

"I'm looking forward to see him in the court. Dirty cop, wow, media are going to have early Christmas." she said and the delight was visible on her face. She could almost see herself handling group of noisy reporters and their intrusive questions. Too bad it was not going to happen. Not with this case and probably never again.

"Wait, you are going to testify?" Hotch asked amazed.

"Yep, no way I'm going to let him walk free." she smiled. "But now seriously, Hotch, you shouldn't have showed him the fake credentials" JJ lowered her voice, so no one else could hear and she stopped Hotch before he could leave.

"They weren't fake" he admitted "I wasn't completely honest with you"

"With what?" she prayed that he wouldn't say anything that would change her mind.

He took deep breath and explained everything about her current status. She listened with open mouth but realized immediately what that meant. SHE WAS STILL AN AGENT!

The reaction was instinctive. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, pressing her soft body against his stiff with surprise posture. She was conscious enough not to go all-kissing on him, but she allowed herself soft peck on the cheek.

"Thank you" JJ exhaled in utmost happiness. At the back of the room Emily turned to Morgan.

"You owe me a dinner, told you they wouldn't be apart for more then twenty four hours."

"Damn" Morgan cursed "I really thought she was going to be pissed about him not processing her resignation. I know I would"

"Yeah, but you are not in love" Rossi joined their little chat. "Anyway, why didn't you told me you were betting again, I'd join the pool gladly" he complained.

"We were getting tired of you still winning" Emily explained with smile.

"Hey guys" Morgan interrupted the couple in the middle of the room. "Anyone up for the dinner. It looks like I'm buying" he offered in the sudden wave of generosity.

"Yep, we're in" JJ agreed without even checking with Hotch first. The winning-dinners were a habit they all enjoyed. "But I have a plane to catch" she realized after a while.

"I thought you were staying with me..." Hotch observed quietly, slightly disappointed.

"You have to work for that first. You still haven't even asked me out..." JJ teased with newly gained confidence. By the look in Hotch's eyes she knew the date invitation wouldn't take much longer. And if for any reason he wouldn't ask, she was determined she would.

"You can sleep at my place" Emily offered.

"No way, the Blondie is staying with me". Garcia appeared out of nowhere and grabbed JJ into her warm embrace.

"You can use my bed, I'll manage one night on the couch" Morgan was next with his offer.

"I have an empty guest room" even Rossi would do anything for JJ to stay.

"OK" JJ gave up "we all agree I'm staying for the night. I just have to make a phone call and then we can discuss the details...someone said something about the dinner?"

And she led the way. Her friends followed her closely. She didn't have look back to be sure.

God, it felt so good to be home.

**THE END**


End file.
